Situation? Traumatised.

Imagine this.

You are on a professional call, standing in your backyard trying desperately to sound intelligent, when you notice your cat emerge from the bushes.

With the back half of a large possum hanging from it’s mouth.

Your eyes meet for a moment….. and no one moves.

Until you scream like a lunatic and the cat runs down the side of the house still hanging onto it’s new friend.

You apologise to the lady you are on the phone to, quickly wrap up your business and retreat back into the house, totally traumatised.

But it does not end there. No way. A few minutes later you wander into the kitchen only to find the deceased smack bang in the middle of the kitchen table.

I will end this there, because I do not really want to go into what I had to do next as I will hurl my cookies…. again.

So today, I am off to replace Chuy’s Bell. I am going to buy the biggest motherfucking one I can find and preferably one that has an inbuilt car-like alarm.

Speaking of jingly bells, come visit me today over at The Hoopla, where I am discussing my Top Ten People to Avoid at Christmas.

Click here.