You cannot make this shit up.

Each morning I wake up and remind myself, What day it is? 

I recall my daily duties and then consult my diary to see what else is going on. This works well for me, even better when I remember to put in appointments & work commitments (and social activities, which are rare).

This morning I woke up at 6.30am. It was Monday and my brain was free of inspiration. So I wrote about my desk. Which I cleaned. Because that was where my head was at.

After I finished my post, I noticed Chuy, our cat, was walking without the benefit of 4 appendages. So I made the stupid mistake of getting the cat cage out BEFORE I called the vet. Chuy took one look at the happenings and took off. Albeit slowly.

It took me two hours to find him underneath the neighbours house. In the meantime, I had to cancel an important meeting and push back my deadline to The Hoopla, the site that I wrote for weekly, and something that I love.

The vet was just so divine. Turns out that the backyard bully, Alicia the Mauler, had worked her evil again. Luckily Chuy got to come home, armed with antibiotics and a million other instructions.

Because Mr Woog had been giving me the shits about money last week, I send him a text saying that Chuy needed an operation ASAP and we would not get much change from $3000.00.

I let that sit there for a while, before I told him the truth.

But the interesting thing about fate, was that this adventure gave me the inspiration for my Hoopla column, which you can read tomorrow. If you want. And you should.

That would do for most people. I mean, that would have been enough activity for me.

You can never pick it, can you.

At about 3pm, I was beginning to get myself ready to pick up the Woogettes when there was a knock at the door. It was my neighbour. She was here to tell me that she was sitting at her kitchen table when someone tried to jump her fence after having tried to wrench her garage door across.

I did not have too much time before I was going to be late to pick up the kids, so I thanked her and went to the garage. Sonia Kluger had a full tank of petrol and was positively PURRING when I sprung her into life. I pushed the button to open the Garage Door.

It erected itself, like the clunky old bastard it is, to reveal a very suspicious looking dude standing in the back alley. And I knew. 

I was going to be robbed. 

Because I had to go and get my kids from school. 

As I drove off, I called the police to confirm that my neighbours report was true, and that I was about to be robbed but I needed to go and get my kids. They were very helpful and I was able to provide a very accurate description of the dude. They said they might be able to send out a car.

On the way home, the conversation turned to Chuy’s condition and since the last cat we had went to the vet and never returned, the focus was squarely on the condition of our feline friend. We opened the back door and walked straight down the hall to check on his condition.

Me, Jack and Harry were standing in Harry’s Room, comforting Chuy, when we heard quickly retreating footsteps down the hall and a door slam. 

And it was at this time that I realised, I had left Harry’s bedroom window opened.

The thief had waited for me to leave for school pick up before scaling the back fence. He had gone down the side of the house, removing each flyscreen as he came across them, in an attempt to gain access. By the time he got around the the front of the house, he was delighted to notice that an idiot lived here.

That idiot would be me.

Me, who left Harry’s Bedroom window open. Only one of two windows in the entire house, that had no bars attached.

So I heard him in the house and, I may have shat a bucketload.  I heard him run up the hall and slam the door as he left. But the thing that surprised me, was my Mamma Bear instinct. I threw both the kids out the front window, after I jarred the door shut with a chair. 

And then, as I hauled my ample ass out of that exit with surprising athleticism, unseen for decades, I opened my Opera Chords with that old classic…….


And fuck you indeed. 

Fuck you for making me scared in my own house.

Fuck you for making Mr Woog come home from work early and having to go into the house as live bait.

Fuck you for the fact that my kids are both freaked out and are in our bed right now.

And fuck you, to anyone, who thinks that it is ok to make anyone feel as shit that I did today.

Have you ever had someone in your house that shouldn’t be there?
How bad is it?

PS Sorry for the overuse of profanities. 
PPS Not really xxx

  • Mrsceeeceee

    My heart is racing reading this. I hope you and the kids are ok. This is pure fucksticks. Wine. ALL THE WINE.

  • You can not make this shit up. There. Right there. A working title for a best-selling Woogie book.

    • Emma

      I would SO buy that book!

  • deb1611

    Oh, Mrs Woog, you sure have had a bucketload of shit happen to you over the past couple of weeks!  A weaker person (read:me for example) would have crumbled long ago.  You sure are being tested.  Keep fighting the good fight.  Hugs to you and your family from someone who doesn’t even know you but thinks you’re pretty (and) awesome.

  • Oh God, you poor thing. I’ve been robbed twice and it makes you feel so violated! I slept with a baseball bat under my bed for weeks afterwards … I’m not sure if it was so I could protect myself or so I could get revenge of the bastard who made me feel unsafe in my own home! 

  • Cat_BeLoverly

    Profanities required! FARRRKKKK!!! How awful. I had someone in my room at about Jack’s age….we came home and he was just hovering. I screamed the freaking house down and Mum tried to convince me it was my Grandpa as he jumped out the window. I am not however, nor have I ever been, an idiot, so I knew she was making it up. I hope peace comes in all it’s guises to Casa Woog very soon. x

  • Can totally empathise.It’s such a basic feeling of violation. Our house was broken into a few weekends ago, the idiot cam smashing through my boy’s window, left a trail of blood and destruction, stole some precious jewellery  then left but smashing his way out my daughters window. And they went through my undie drawer. Had to fake a phone call from the police saying they’d been caught to get the kids back into their won beds.

  • SobriquetV

    That is a truly awful experience. Thank heavens he didnt confront you when you got home but instead ran out the door. Hope that is your quote of drama for the rest of the year fulfilled and over with!  

  • Kelly

    Know EXACTLY how you feel – we were also robbed a few years ago – while we slept in the bedrooms at the front of the house someone decided to come in through our back door and help themself to a few valuables.  Worse feeling in the world – how dare someone come into our house who we did not invite in -so violated.  Only positive – my husband disturbed them and my small children were unaware of what had happened. 

    The scared feeling does lessen – the checking of doors and windows before I go out has not.

  • Julia

    That’s just awful.  There are no words to describe what a harrowing experience that is.  But I think the F bomb sums it up best.  I hope you get some sleep tonight.  And I hope that nasty, thieving dude doesnt. x

  • Mrs Woog, it is the worst. We returned home about two years ago, interestingly enough on a Monday, and two laptops, two iPhones (no sims, we’d just upgraded), and few other minor things including my towel which really freaked me out, were gone. Then, I discovered cigarette ash in the hall. Those MOTHERFUCKERS had smoked inside my home and, it would seem, hung out for a bit. It is the worst. I feel your pain tonight. Mofos. x

  • John woke up one morning and heard a noise in the kitchen.  Naked as the day he was born he chased the burglar down an alley way, screaming obscenities – and the burglar jumped into our car with the keys he had stolen along with our wallets and other stuff.  Eventually we got the car back and people were ringing for days later with our wallets (emptied), credit cards etc.  What made me sick to my stomach was that he had been through our house whilst we were asleep and with a toddler and a baby in the house. It was a bizarre fucked up feeling alright.

  • yeah i punched a teen once. The local one sandwich short of a picnic variety. Didnt realise until i punched him and basically man handled dwarf style out the door. Another time the rottie took the arse out of fence jumper. Our house was marked. No problems after that

  • I hope you don’t come across him whilst driving Sonia, he’d make quite a mess xx

  • Holy shit! Please tell me Constable Paul turned up with his taser and you unleashed your wrath on him…. PLEASE.

  • yeah i punched a teen once. The local one sandwich short of a picnic variety. Didnt realise until i punched him and basically man handled dwarf style out the door. Another time the rottie took the arse out of fence jumper. Our house was marked. No problems after that

  • Jen

    Wow that is full on!! I’ve been robbed when we weren’t home and that was bad enough, a complete violation! But to have someone in your house while you’re there?? Scary!! I hope you’re relaxing with a bottle of vino cause that’s what I’d be doing! Oh, and you sending Mr Woog in as live bait cracked me up!

    Glad it all ended well 🙂

  • oh god mrs woog! seriously, oh god!
    you did bloody awesome!

  • I am feeling every bit of fear for you, so violated in what should be your safe place, your retreat. And your kids were in the house too – I am so freakin mad, and so pissed that this has happend to you – to anyone. My folks are in pubs, and growing up, we lived above the pub, so it was fairly regular that we were broken into, or held up. And I tool each and every time totally to heart. Growing up in a pub, it is an extension of your home. But once evening a particularly sneaky fucker went up stairs, entered my parents bedroom and stole Mum’s wedding and engagement ring. Will. never. get. over. that. I hope you feel safe again in your home x

  • OMG! Glad you’re all OK. 

  • Holy shit man! Sounds like you did very well with minimal prep time. Good thinking. Hope Mr Woog went in with all guns blazing! Hope your cat’s okay (and your bank balance).

  • Its bloody scary. My sil had a robber enter her house at about 6am just after her husband left for work. she had her new born son with her in her bed. she heard him going around the house trying out all the windows but he couldn’t open them. he then proceed to kick down the front door. while she had 000 dialled on the phone and told the operator that there was a robber in her house and they heard the whole thing. when he entered he noticed her in the bed. she had covered the baby and she told him “i have called the police get out” he then said to her I just want to grab something. then closed her bedroom door and took off with the xbox. the police where about 15 minutes to late. 
    we had robbers at our old place in The Druitt. robbed us of 8k worth of things. lucky we were not home but my poor rottweiler felt helpless as he was a backyard dog. once we opened up the front to him he paced the yard around the house for days. we fixed up the front fence so he can roam without jumping the fence. never had a problem after that. I felt violated to see that the robbers went through my undies draw. 
    Hope he didn’t take anything in your house??

  • Reannon Hope

    Bloody fucking hell!!! What a Monday!!!

    Never had an intruder but I hop the day I do I can have the mumma bear sense you had & scream & throw children out windows.

    Hope you all get some sleep tonight & that the fucking loser who thinks it’s OK to break into peoples houses is caught real soon!

  • Nicky

    OMG…how scary. First, I hope you and the boys can recover and second that Chuy will be ok.
    Now, here’s my story…
    One night when we were all at home (I was probably 17), my Dad went into his bedroom to find he couldn’t open the door. He had to push it very hard and found the arm chair from the other side of their room wedged against the door. He realized then that there had been someone in the house.
    He/they/she had climbed into their bathroom window, taken all Mum’s jewelry, found the safe and tried to jimmy it out of the floor. It was definitely someone who knew us because they knew exactly where the safe.
    My dog had been drugged so he couldn’t bark. This we didn’t realize until after.
    It was AWFUL…

  • Cdvreede

    Yes as a very young 17 year old nervously waiting for my first day of uni I lay in my bed hearing someone wander around our house. Normally not an issue in a house of 6 . My dad was known to check on us. When my door opened I expected my dad, when the body was not the right shape I freaked Door shut again then he came back thinking of taking my very empty handbag.. He must have decided no and Left. Then I realised my younger siblings rooms were next and then upstairs to my parents. I remembered the hockey stick under my bed I grabbed it and decided to yell like crazy behind a closed door. I got really angry and called for dad.. Swearing like crazy. Heard a motor bike at the bottom of the hill.. Not one person in my house stirred.. Had to get dad and to this day they still think it was my imagination, I wish it was.

  • Beadyemerald

    okay call me mad but why didnt you just ring 000 and wait in your car for the police to arrive and at the same time take a photo of the robber…meanwhile ring the school and tell them to hold your kids as there was an emergency. did your neighbour ring 000. or you could have told your neighbour to ring the school that you would wait for the police.

    • Hindsight is a wonderful thing beadyemerald

    • Mrs Woog

      I thought my house was secure. Sometimes I make mistakes.

    • Katie

      Beadyemeral – it is all well and good to say that but the
      only thing is – I have had this happen to myself – when you call the police –
      they don’t necessarily arrive at the speed you would like!


      Mrs Woog….I had three dirty people enter my house – whilst
      we were sleeping!!  Earlier that same day
      we had spotted this mongrels hanging around – because elderly residents mainly
      surround us – we called and reported this to the police.  Later that night around four homes were
      broken in to!  Most of the neighbours
      lost their Christmas money and gifts.  We
      were lucky enough to have a cranky dog at the time and she grabbed one on the
      fence on his way over as they escaped our house!  It is a terrible feeling – one that I
      describe as eekkie…and unfortunately it takes a while to regain your
      confidence again!  Maybe, just maybe,
      trade the cat and get a big ass dog!

  • Mumabulous

    Shit – I’m sorry to hear about that episode. I had a similar experience while living in a share house in Rozelle. It had magnificent floor to ceiling glass sliding doors. They looked like interior decorating porn but were stupidly easy to break into and we copped it regularly. On evening a dude tried to get into my flatmates bedroom window whilst she was trying to get to sleep. This was no booty call! We broke the lease and left after that incident. 

  • Mardi

    Fuck you mother fucking fucker….

  • Vivian S.

    Yes, I have had a similar scary experience – and it’s amazing what instincts kick in.  I found a very drugged out girl in our house one Sunday afternoon.  We were all home and she had just wandered in, cause you know, the front door was open (but not the screen door) and she thought she’d have a look around, and a peer into my handbag which was in the bedroom.   If I hadn’t happened to head up the hall at the right time, I’m sure it would have been bye bye purse and all its contents.   I had the amazing (for me) presence of mind to search her before I kicked her out and then called the police….and then the shaking started….  It’s super scary and I’m just glad my kids were too young at the time to remember it.  

  • It makes me feel sick that your boys do not feel safe in their own home.  Hope you guys are ok.

  • Tania Pradun

    You are one impressive woman. I said earlier that this is one of my all time scariest nightmares so much so that when husband goes away for work and I’m home at night with the kids I have AN ESCAPE PLAN in case someone gets into my house. You can’t make that shit up either. Good on you. Today you saved your cat, your kids and your own ‘ample’ arse. RESPECT xx

  • Arsehole 🙁

  • Sarah Milbourn

    A bucket of wine is needed after this! You poor things. That sucks big time! I hope the boys (and you) can get some sleep tonight! Take care xxx

  • Mumbos

    Yep, when we were burgled about 10 years ago by some builders who had been doing renos on our place.  They knew our routine and which window they could get in (they’d been putting their extension cord through there for weeks to make their lunch on the back deck.  Fuckers).  I came home with my baby after Mum’s group one Friday, and saw the window open.  I popped him on the floor, grabbed a big effing knife and walked around the house yelling, “If you’re still here I will fucking kill you now” and other charming phrases to that effect.  Of course they weren’t there.  But it is the shittiest feeling in the world, Mrs W.  Hope the mood at your place is back to normal asap.  Meanwhile, enjoy the snuggles. x

  • Fuck that arsehole. Fuck him. I am so glad everyone is ok. Much love honey xx

  • I have had the ‘pleasure’ of both someone in my house and someone in my car and it is HORRIBLE. Big hugs to you today lovely. Bloody hell!

  • Holy fucking shit man!
    I am the idiot that would have gone charging at that fucker with something, anything!
    How scary. Glad you and the kids are ok.

  • Ln

    fuck you, you motherfucker….love it.

  • fivechildrenandicedtea

    I hope the FMF didn’t take anything.

    I read your facebook post earlier and I actually thought “She couldn’t make this shit up!”.

  • OH BLOSS. I feel SICK on your behalf. Don’t use any of your toothbrushes. 

    • and remind me to tell you about the drunk stupid failed robber at our place a few years back. You’re right. You can’t make this shit up. 

  • Henny

    Years ago we were broken in to. We came home to the biggest mess. They had been in the house for ages and had gone throught EVERYTHING plus they had sex on our bed and left a nasty puddle on our Country Road bed sheets!! The worst thing was they frightened our small dog and he ran away, we did get him back but it was a few very upsetting days…the police told us to check the washing machine, dishwasher and toilet in case the dog had been put in one of them…apparantly it happens.

    Your boys are the ones I feel for…very upsetting for them. Just remember most robbers don’t want to caught they are opportunists and its unlikely he will come back.

    Fucking Bastard!!!!!

  • mary_j_j

    The house I grew up on was on Intruders Ave, we were opposite a huge park so no nosey neighbours across the way. We had many a thief, and came across them as well: the knock on the door from the toothless drug addict; the man upstairs in my parents bedroom as Mum and I came in one Saturday who said he knew the people that lived here; my younger siblings realising that there was a thief at the door as they came home from school. Needless to say there was nothing much of value in the house and we never had a flash tv or stereo or the like. They would find something to take though, ransack a few drawers etc.
    Having said that I don’t know how calmly I would deal with it now with my children in tow. What a day you have had of it. 

  • I’d be swearing too, that is up there with top scariest sh*+ ever, I was robbed when I moved out of home and I hardly slept ever after in that room – day or night shift. I had to get married 😉 and move out (23)

    I heard someone one night i think trying to get in , when my husband wasn’t home in the middle of the night a few yrs back. The local Hawk’s cops arrived pretty quickly but found no one . We got an alarm after that. I had to deadlock kids in my bedroom with me anytime afterwards at night.

    I hope they catch him.Hugs for CHuy too.

  • Anna

    Mamma Bear for PM.! You did yourself proud Mrs W. The kids are certain to be freaked out for a while, but they’ll NEVER forget what you did for them.

  • This is so fucked, no one should have to go through this. I can’t imagine how terrifying it must have been and how violated you must feel now. Gives me goosebumps. Hope they catch that fucker and he gets what he deserves, for the theft of your feeling of security if nothing else.

  • Deb_BrightandPrecious

    In all seriousness, that is beyond scary. Stuff of nightmares and serious trauma. I’d be taking some sleeping pills tonight if it was me, Mrs Woog. And you have all my sympathy.

  • Worst feeling ever, knowing that someone is in your house and that They Mean You No Good. Happened to me a long time ago. I flew out the door, into my car and straight to my boyfriend’s house. Menawhile, the arseholes took almost all my jewellery and left me scared to come home to my own house. 

    Scum of the earth. 

  • well that’s a fucking monday right there. you are a brave mama. wishing you and the gang a good night’s sleep.

  • Moon Home

    FUCK HIM!!!! How dare someone scare you and the children like that – or anyone! Really feel for you and the woogettes 🙁

  • Noooooo… this is terrible, I would crap myself, immediately. Have been robbed a couple of times but only when I was out. I’d be so scared. Terribly sorry to hear this. The police needed to get there MUCH faster,  Did they come around, where they helpful?

    Here in the leafy deep burbs… I leave my doors open all the time… and one day may regret that. Sugar.

  • Lindab

    When I was heavily pregnant with twins and took my toddler out to run an errand we returned home and as we came through the back door we disturbed a robber who threw himself through my bedroom window to escape. He had been watching us (the police suspect). I agree that the worst part was feeling so violated and pissed off that I then felt uncomfortable in my own home. One good thing was that I had my bedroom in such a mess at the time that the bastard didn’t find my engagement ring which was buried under a pile of fake jewellery. I’m sorry this happened to you today. 

  • This just makes me so angry!!!! I hope you’re all feeling better soon  x

  • Tracey

    People are effin scum. You, however, are awesome. 

  • What complete douchecanoe. So glad you’re all OK. Map Guy has come face to face with a prowler and we were watched by one creepy dude who hid in our courtyard all evening then tried to break in after we’d gone to bed. In other news we have a $4000 vet bill coming up. I don’t know which is more scary. 

  • Bec

    I had an escapee in our neighbourhood, detectives came in and searched…nothing…an hour later watering garden with glass of wine in one hand hose in the other…the dude strolled out from under my house (stupid blind detectives) stared at me then scaled the fence…I called 000 cops came in 45 secs and found him in neighbours wheelie yeah…f#*% you!

  • Oh boy!
    Yes once when young I returned home to a ransacked house.
    It’s a horrible feeling to know someone has been there through everything and stolen items.
    I feel terrible for you and your family – stay safe.
    I think with your blast that he would have heard – he won’t be back.
    Take care
    and a PS before I go: “the woogs don’t do anything by halves by the way”.
    x L

  • What_Sarah_Did_Next

    OMG, Mrs Woog, that’s AWFUL. We’ve been broken into as well – they were waiting for me to do the school pick up too. Bastards smashed my office window getting in and stole the Playstation 3 before running out when they realised my eldest son was in the house upstairs! So glad he didn’t walk in on them – I felt sick thinking about what MIGHT have happened. Much love to you all xxx

  • We were robbed when I was only about 5. In the days u could leave the car unlocked and the keys in it. My Mum was an AVON lady and in our small community, everyone knew when that had arrived. So in they, he or she came in the middle of the night and took the coveted AVON order. The whole community was pissed off as they then all had to wait a fortnight for the reorder!!We started locking our back door after that. (Which we had previously left open to access the dunny!)

  • Oh my vodka gods, that sounds bloody awful.  We were broken into at the start of the year – payment for the one single time we decide to do something family-friendly on a Sunday. It’s a truly violating experience.  I hope they get the bastard xxx

  • What a full on day!! This happened to us once when we had a friend living with us. We were away for the weekend and she was home, she heard our cat meowing in a strange way so stood up to check on him. When she stood she saw someone climbing through the back window having jimmied it open. She decided to pretend it wasnt happening and sat back down again! Upon realizing this wasn’t going to be a good plan she jumped up and ran down the (long) hall, got to the front door and realized she didn’t have the phone. Ran BACK up the (long) hall TOWARD the intruder, grabbed the phone and then ran out of the house. Called the police, they miraculously came AND managed to catch the guy. They were thrilled as he had been robbing houses for weeks and because of the circumstances they were able to charge and convict him of aggravated burglery. So sorry you had such a craptastic day!!

  • Gene

    Yes, I was broken into while I was home, alone & had just left my lounge room to go to the toilet. It was while I was there that I heard the plates on my sink tap together, more than once. I blamed a cat first of all, then the wind, while I plucked up the courage to go out, toilet spray in hand. Found two men in my kitchen. I too screamed profanities, called 000 who decided that night they were too busy to answer first time. I felt so invaded & they had been watching me through the window & I had no idea.

  • Margiewolfe

    you need to start writing crime novels Woog… I was shitting myself reading this post… You have that Janet Evanovich genre down pat…. 

  • Megan

    You poor things. I’m so sorry this happened to you. It will take a while to feel safe again. I was robbed twice (same house) and it was horrible. They even did a shit in the toilet!!! Poor Harry. I hope you clear your house out or move. Noone deserves to feel unsafe in their own home, especially if they are 6 and 8. xxx

  • What an invasion. That is horrible to actually have heard him in your house. Shudder. Glad you’re all ok.

  • Fark. What’s the world coming to? Brings back memories… back when I was little someone tried to climb through our window as 4 of us slept in a room on vacation. My auntie whispered “Pretend to sleep” and then she coughed. The intruder dashed.

  • Biiiiig hugs lovely. What you may need to do asap is get as many friends and family and neighbours around for a lovely housewarming bbq. You may feel the need to do this because the house could seem like a strange place to now that someone has violated your space. This is absolutely rotten and I have no idea how anyone could rob someone or behave aggressively towards another human being in their own home but I wish you and your family all the best in feeling at home in your own home again soon. I know it sucks x

  • BB of Oz

    Dear God… have no idea how you could have handled this any better… maybe pointed your phone at him as you drove off, to identify said MF. (Excuse my initialising).

    Have been broken into. It sucks BIG TIME. I think you should yell, scream and then yell a little more (although maybe not in front of the kids).


  • Sarnz

    Fuck that. Fuck him. Fucking arse hole!

  • Judi

    We had an intruder just two weeks after we moved into our new a new area. He was a mentally disabled person and hubby managed to “talk him down” before he got into the house. The police eventually tracked him down and found that he was armed. In hindsight we should have just hidden under the bed.

  • Louise

    Mrs Woog I understand the horror of this scenario but know it must have been a million times worse as you had the kids to protect. When I was a young, ballsy uni student I once woke up to a stranger on the stairs. That’s the internal stairs outside my bedroom. It was weird the way the adrenalin kicks in as I angrily asked him “Who the f*** are you and what the f*** are you doing in our house?!?!?” The intruder had the audacity to seem pissed off… “I’m just looking for Susan.” I swiftly told him that not only was there no Susan in the house nor did we know a Susan people don’t break into people’s homes at 3am looking for her and to get the f*** out! He again seemed kind of pissed off but left very, very quickly. We ran outside on the balcony and watched him run off down the street. As my anger subsided the shaking began as I realised what the hell had happened. Needless to say I didn’t get back to sleep that night.

  • Desireempire

    “They might send a car round” Are you kidding?  Are you sure constable Paul has not been transferred to the Lower North Shore?

  • Stomach churning. I hate reading stories like this. Don’t beat yourself up about the window – anyone could have done it. Glad you’re all okay. And I rarely swear, but don’t apologise – you have every right to!! x

  • Deb A

    Mrs W,  I don’t know if this will help, but have a listen to Tina Payne Bryson (Richard Fidler Conversations 702 radio)   she makes a very good point about making a story around traumatic events for the kids. ..  Something like, “remember when that robber came in the house & we jumped out the window & mum ran after him screaming & all the neighbours came out & dad came home… but we were okay now, we were allright”…… Its a sort of reframing & re telling of the story. 
    Just a thought, I’m a bit late on my comment so best of luck & big cyber hug.Also, my friend Cher says “remeber to breathe out… breathing in is easy – it’s the breathing out & repeat that takes courage” 

  • Horrible fucker! (well since we’re into expletives anyway)  He should come to our house we leave our doberman x in the house while we’re out.

    We only had one burglary pre-doggy and he used a little dingo sculpture I bought in a gallery on my honeymoon to smash the small window at the side of our front door. He was so stoned that a neighbor caught him with a few TVs at the door trying to squish them through the 30cm wide broken pane.  Funny even the smallest portable TV wouldn’t fit… I’m still sad about the smashed Dingo.

  • Years ago when I was living with my sister we got broken in by a split personality robber. Who had a beer and a slice of cheesecake. The bottle was in the recycling and the plate in the sink. Very neat robber. But then in both of our bedrooms, neat robber turned into crazy robber throwing our clothes around the rooms and slashing our underwear. 
    It was a rental, we never slept in that house again.

    And yes you cannot make this shit up….when the real stuff is so crazy

  • Oh my love!!!! Are you ok? I am so sorry this happened, what a complete arsehole. How frightening. Ugh. I hope you are ok now XXXXX

  • Cin

    I actually had my neighbour smash up all my front windows to break into my house at 5 am while I was sleeping. I heard him walking up my stairs towards my bedroom screaming out drunk rants about how he was going to kill the whole neighbourhood. Thank god my bedroom door has a lock on it, otherwise I could be a dead women by now. Somehow managed to talk him into leaving while I was on the phone to 000. Scariest moment of my life. Scarier that he still lives next door. Glad you are all ok, such a horrible experience, so intrusive.

  • Zempilas

    I think you’re the only person that can make a scary real life story a funny – scary real life story. Hope you and the Woogettes are OK. A x 

  • Amanda

    When I first moved in with my (now ex)- husband in to a duplex apartment he left soon after for a long military deployment. My upstairs neighbours then left for a long OS holiday. That same day I came home to find all the rear windows with crowbar mark against the security mesh which had failed to let the robber in. So he went to the front window facing a busy street and smashed the glass – in broad daylight. Loads of electronics, CD’s and irreplacable jewellery was taken. Police came but wanted the unsecured house left as is for the crime squad to come the next day. There was some discussion as the whether the house had been watched and the robber saw the neighbours departure, thinking it was an easy mark. So I stupidly stayed – on my own – in a unsecured house. No family or friends could be bothered to come and be with me.

    Later when I went to bed I woke up when I heard noises upstairs. Thinking he (they?) had returned to finish the job I commando crawled on my belly across the house to grab the phone and call 000. Sat there shaking with a torch and a huge carving knife until 3 squad cars pulled up. Seems the noises was actually the off-peak hot water system reheating and the water clunking through the pipes. LOL…. Cops were so nice about it but I would never do it again.

    • Amanda

      Oh and I forgot to add that the cops were amazed and the mess the robber left… embarassingly had to tell them they hadn’t actually touched anything in that room – that was how it was… but the stuff was scattered eveywhere from trying to find what we needed in the moving boxes. 🙂

      Didn’t have kid(s) at the time so it must be VERY unsettling for you Mrs Woog…

  • Mrs OMG

    I got burgled the night i got home from hospital with my first child.  Fuckkkk !!  I would have been up for murder if I’d caught him with all those rampant motherly hormones firing through my body.  Am sure his life is shit while mine isn’t – gotta believe in Karma. 

  • I was flat sitting once for a friend when the place was robbed. I felt so guilty and so violated.The bastards went through all my stuff I had there with me, which wasn’t much. My friend was actually in Timor with the army at the time, so I had to organise all the repairs and insurance claims. Asshole robbers.

  • I was flat sitting once for a friend when the place was robbed. I felt so guilty and so violated.The bastards went through all my stuff I had there with me, which wasn’t much. My friend was actually in Timor with the army at the time, so I had to organise all the repairs and insurance claims. Asshole robbers.