Durex Inspections Imminent.

Perhaps I should not be surprised, but it is amazing how popular one becomes with family and friends when one buys a beach shack. Jabba the Hut has been enjoying a high occupancy rate since her purchase a few months back.

My Mum has currently taken up residence there for the week with what can only be described as a “gaggle” of girlfriends and, from the sound of every phone call, a dozen cases of champagne.

Women in their mid-sixties reliving schoolies week. Neil Diamond on high rotation, I imagine.

I got a text from “Aunty Lois” yesterday. It was a photo of a packet of Durex frangers that she found in a drawer. Along with the photo, she had written the following…

“Thanks for having these in stock in case we get lucky!”

Sweet baby cheeses.

Later, Mum called during their “Happy Hour”, or as I suspect their “Happy 8 Hours”, to ask whether I had gotten the photo. Squeals and peals of laughter rang out in the background. Positive hysterics, like it was the funniest thing ever.

After the squeals subsided, I quietly informed Mum that these were necessary to avoid giving her any more grandchildren. Particularly a grand-daughter.

That silenced her.

Although, knowing her and her gaggle like I do, those condoms will need to be inspected for pin pricks, when next visiting Jabba the Hut.

The sly dog…..