Mission Possible.

Mum came and stayed with me last week as I continue my fortnight of ski-widowhood. Truth is I am not really a solitary creature, and although the kids have been some company, they are also quite limited in topics for discussion. 

These include, and are basically limited  to:

  • What is for dinner?
  • Where is my *insert object here*?
  • When is Dad getting home?
Meanwhile I have been driving the kids to the new school, which is a one hour round trip if the Sydney Traffic is being kind.

Which is nearly never.

The new school is terrific and has made things as easy as possible for us Woogs to transplant ourselves as seamlessly as possible.

(Which is me, being optimistic. Truth is it has been quite shithouse.)

The butterflies and nerves start kicking in as Sonia Kluger reverses out of the garage and works itself up to a nice crescendo. Experience has told me that me hanging around the school in the mornings makes things a gazillion times worse, so we have implemented a band aid strategy.

We have adapted an exiting the car plan that we call the “Parachute.” It consists of me driving up to the drop off line singing the theme to Mission Impossible.

Then when we pull up, the kids are so pumped with testosterone  to forget their nerves, and leap from the car like they are on a mission… possible.

I yell “GO GO GO GO GO GO GO”

I then speed away at the requisite 40 kilometres per hour tooting the horn like a crazy woman. All the other Mum’s stare as I drive down the road. 

Today was particularly bad because I woke up and it was 7.55am and we need to leave the house at 8am. Someone had gotten up early and had “borrowed” my iPhone, which doubles as my alarm.

I could feel that old familiar friend The Sads creep in. We made it to school just in time. My Sads stuck around, so I decided to self medicate with some retail therapy. And as it turned out, a very bountiful retail therapy session.

Then The Sads were then joined by their best friend and neighbour, The Guilts. Those two are assholes when they get together. So I felt kind of crap.

But only for the briefest of moments.

What do you do when you are blue?