The Nice Ladies Things Account.

I think that it is important to note that this album comes with instructions.
What can I say, but  big thank you for all the comments and emails regarding my last post. I have been blown away by the amount of support out there, and humbled by those brave enough to share their stories about their own struggles with depression.

My name is Mrs Woog and it has been 5 days since my last meltdown.

Dr Eve prescribed me a task list for this week which included:
  • a brisk 30 minute walk everyday
  • Cancel all work and appointments and commitments for the week.
  • Not a lick of booze.
  • 8.30pm bed time to be preceded by a long bath.
  • 3 healthy meals a day, even if I don’t feel like eating.
  • Do something nice for myself everyday.
So far I have followed her plan to a T, and I am bouncing back with vigour. Ok, so not like a small, rubber bouncy ball that goes ape-shit when slammed into the floor, but more like a tennis ball with a puncture. 

But the point is I am bouncing, even if it is not at my full potential.

Today I want to discuss something (else) that my dear friend The Divine Ms. M taught me years ago. That woman is a resource for all things. ALL THINGS! I love her a million.

It is the concept of The Nice Ladies Things Account.

See those darling blog sponsors up there?
All monies from advertising goes into my Nice Ladies Things Account. From now we shall just refer it as the NLTA

Any other income from blog work and freelance writing gigs gets sucked up into the quagmire of domestic outgoings. It is a travesty.

The NLTA is a resource from which to draw from when you need a little pick me up. A little pamper if you will. And looking into the mirror yesterday and seeing that old hag staring back at me, I felt the need to drain that account.

First thing I did was to hire packers to pack up this house into well organised boxes with labels on them. This will happen tomorrow. 

Hold me.
Then, with the little that was left, I booked myself in for a massage. A Thai massage with the emphasis on relaxing. 

For some reason, while I was getting ready to leave the house, I changed my old grey reg grundies for some black ones, so they would match my bra.

Which was quite a strange thing to do, if you think about it, for many reasons.
  1. The fact that I actually owned a “set”?
  2. Just who am I trying to impress?
  3. I am not same-sex attracted and even if I were, wouldn’t it be a little presumptuous of me to assume that anyone would fall for me, because I was wearing matching smalls.
  4. My smalls are not smalls. They are bigs.
  5. And why, oh why, would I even bother about matching underwear when my legs were as hairy as fuck.
My massage was sent directly from heaven. I could feel the masseuse’s fingers grind over the corrugated iron that my shoulder blades had become as I literally felt myself leave my body, stare down at my black undies that were pulled down so that most of my ass was exposed, have a good think about spray tans and other shit, and then return to myself.

I walked home as light as a feather and as slippery as a noodle.

A good use of the NLTA, don’t you think?

You do not need a lot of moolah to start a NLTA, just a bit of thought. A tin or a jar is a great place to start. Stash it away so that no one can dip into it to get a coffee or a bus fare. Chuck all your goldies into it every once in a while. Maybe a bit of paper money if you have it going spare.

Then every time you are feeling a bit self neglected, empty it out and make an appointment. BY YOURSELF OR WITH A MATE.


Here is a rough guide.

Coffee, cake and mag  $15.00
Mani, Pedi  $40
Wash and Blowdry  $50
Facial  $90
90 minute Thai Massage  $120
New pair of undies   $4.99

Do you have a Nice Ladies Things Account?
Are you going to start one?
When is the last time you did something nice for yourself? BE HONEST!
Do you own gross, grey undies? Bonus points for holes…..