Dodging Turdburgers.

When I was about 6, I was playing in the street, as you did back then, when our neighbour Benny Brown started teasing me. He was a couple of years older than me. 

Benny Brown was a mean bastard. The type of guy who liked to pull wings off insects and laugh as they ran around, trying to take off.

Then he would squash them underfoot.

Anyway, this day I was his target. I remember being really pissed off, so much so that I punched him. Square in the jaw. I recall the pain in my hand as I ran home and hid under my bed.

Sure enough, the door bell soon rang. It was Benny Brown and his mother, Mrs Brown. What followed was me getting quite the dressing down from Mrs Brown, who went to town about the shit that went down.

I had to apologise to that turdburger, although later my Mum told me she was quite proud of me.

I prescribed Harry a mental health day today, as he is dealing with his own turdburger in his class. An alpha male has decided to make his life hell at the moment, and I must admit, I feel like getting all Mrs Brown on that bully.

I have decided to spend the day with him, teach him and talk about resilience and strategies to deal with mini assholes. Because once you work out your own policy on this issue and put it into play, the rest becomes easy.

He has just come in to ask me how long you have to go to university to be a Tattoo Artist, so we might talk about careers as well.

Yesterday, I spoke at the Digital Parents Conference about dealing with online Benny Browns. Trolls and haters and all things revolting like that.

The truth is, in this scenario, you cannot control what others do to you. You can only be responsible for your reactions.

The incredibly funny and talented blogger Daisy, Roo + Two crocheted me a penis finger puppet and gave it to me yesterday. It is quite simply brilliant. She is pretty sure she can create a vagina crocheted finger puppet as well, and I told her she should sell them.

Would make the procreation talk a lot me fun if you ask me…
It also reminded me that there is a lot of love, support and talent around.

Especially when you learn to dodge the turdburgers.