How to outsmart a cat.


Bought to you by Choosi Pet Insurance

We got our cat Chuy just after we lost our beloved Wilson to Cancer.

Wilson was the best cat ever and, according to Harry, still retains the crown. I can still remember having to go to school one afternoon to tell Harry that Wilson had fallen asleep and had gone to heaven.
We still cannot talk about him without tears.

Except recently, when we were on a plane and Jack sat so still, staring off into the clouds. When asked what he was doing, he told us…

“Trying to see Wilson again…”

Cute. Creepy. Cute.

Mum called shortly after Wilson’s sad passing to tell us that her friend’s stable cat had had kittens and would we like one. I told her “NO WAY!” which to my Mum meant “Yes please, that would be super.”

Chuy was born 2 years ago on Christmas Day, in a manger might I add. So naturally we wanted to call him Jesus, but thought twice about it as it might be offensive to some. So instead I called him Chuy after Chuy Bravo, Chelsea Handler’s Mexican Personal Assistant.

Like Chuy Bravo, he loves food, is a smartass and is quite opinionated. Like me too, now that I think about it.

Chuy is an outside cat that comes inside at nights. He has also become a seaside cat, after many trips up to Jabba the Hut. He spent the first few weeks on top of a cupboard, but now very much enjoys his time at the beach.

Except for one time, a few weekends ago. When we lost him.

Mr. Woog made the rookie mistake of getting the cat carrier out in preparation for our trip back home. Chuy clocked one look at it, rolled his eyes and disappeared under the house.


Meanwhile, darkness was falling and things were getting desperate. There was quite the friction in the air, as I pointed out to Mr. Woog what a silly thing he had done, although this might have been expressed in a more direct fashion.

I had to think like a cat. Our cat. Our smart, scheming, selfish adorable feline.

I refused to be outsmarted by a cat.

The carrier was put away and I gathered the family to tell them of my plan. We had to act natural, like nothing was happening apart from our usual mundane activities that we do on an evening.

Jack set the table and Mr. Woog turned on the BBQ so the oily smell would permeate the air.

I busied myself in the kitchen, making the fake dinner loudly. Opening the fridge and shutting it, slamming the cupboards and rattling the cutlery drawer. For authenticity, the kids even kindly had a massive fight! 

We all sat at the table and enjoyed our fake dinner, talking like normal and me, with one eye on the back door, anxious. Ever anxious.

Was my plan going to work?

After “dinner” I began to “scrape the plates” into the bin when a black figure darkened the doorway. It was Chuy, drawn out from his hiding place under false pretenses of a faux dinner, hoping to get a BBQ scrap or two.


I casually walked over, scooped him up while Mr. Woog fetched the carrier and then got scratched to shit while trying to deposit Chuy into it.

Fair punishment, if you ask me.

 Mrs Woog 1 – Chuy 0
Is your pet cunning?
Has your pet ever out-smarted you?
Do you insure your pets?

Chuy is insured after I found a policy through Choosi.

Pet insurance premiums start for less than $1 a day* and help you to make sure that your cat or dog receives the care and attention they deserve.

If you have a pet, please insure it. It is cheap. Full stop.

*Price quoted based on a 2 year old moggie for accident only cover, up to 80% off eligible vet bill.