The Mighty Ducks go down.

What sort of saddist schedules a rugby match for the Mighty Ducks on a Mothers Day at 8am in the morning?

Well, I don’t know who they were, but whoever that person might be I was cursing their name at 7am as I rose on what was one of the coldest Sydney mornings we have had recently.

As I stretched out, I realised that I had left 4 jerseys on the line overnight and yes, they were still wet.

So, in what should have been a lovely morning of sleep ins, breakfast in bed and gentle, soothing gestures of love turned into me standing in the bathroom with the hairdryer on, frantically trying to get those fucking rugby tops dry.

When I arrived, I did my Team Manager duty and got the kids to sign on, using the pen that Jack had given me for a Mother’s Day gift. It was a pink, bedazzled biro in the shape of a lipstick. I must say, the Mighty Ducks thought that this was the bee’s knees and I told them, if they won, then I would award the pen to the Man of the Match.

Because deep down I knew that they wouldn’t. Oh ye of little faith. Truth is, I had eyeballed the opposition and they were HUGE.

The first half, I stood on the sideline with coaches Jim and Hutto, along with the team mascot, a horny labrador puppy called Bear.

Even Bear was enamoured with the pen…

One of my favourite things to do while watching the game is to get my Florence Nightingale on. When a Duck goes down, I streak (clothed) onto the pitch and administer ice and use my scarf to dry the tears that the darling pet is trying so hard to hold in.

They are little manly men and they do not want to cry in front of their team. The crowd gives them a slow clap off the field and I inform everyone that the patient will be fine and just needs a lolly and a head moosh.

By half time, we were drawn but as the second half went on, we were obliterated by a winger with the speed of a gazelle, so the pen came home with me that day.

In other news, the sausage sizzle offering put on by the hosting team was far superior to any I had tasted before. Champion team and champion BBQ. Cudos!

In other exciting news, the NSW Waratahs are coming to The Mighty Ducks training session this week. Can you believe that? We need some very explicit help on tackling, scrums, line outs, running, holding a ball without dropping it and how not to do cartwheels in the backline. And the team wants autographs, so guess what will be trotted out?


Damn straight!

Did you score anything special for Mother’s Day?