This is my sister Mrs Ryan. She might just be the funniest person I know and, combined with a strong bitchy streak, she most certainly keeps me on my toes.

So it should have come as no surprise when she turned up to Mum’s house for a long lunch on Saturday with a large bunch of helium balloons. Which it probably appropriate for a birthday celebration, but she knows that I suffer from globophobia.

Globophobia is a fear of balloons. It is a real thing. I have suffered from globophobia ever since I blew up a balloon so big at high school that it popped and the rubber flung, snapped if you will, into my eyeball, causing me temporary blindness for a few minutes.

I find balloons to be far too unpredictable for my liking. Balloons in cars would have me reaching for a calming medication, all of that unpredictability flying around, hitting me in the head or worse. Popping.

So I probably was not as relaxed as I could have been on Saturday, as I needed to keep my wits about me as Mrs Ryan would wait until I was sipping some wine in the sun, before chasing me around the garden with her globes of evil air.

Janine Robertson from Facebook sent me this yesterday.

A plastic sack of breath. It is so true! So why are you so fucking scary to me?

Nothing Scarier than a Clown

The top 5 phobias roll out as follows.

  1. Arachnophobia – Spiders
  2. Acrophobia – Heights 
  3. Agoraphobia – Open Spaces
  4. Claustrophobia – Confined Spaces
  5. Mysophobia – Germs
All nice, normal phobias. Texbook phobias, if you will. But the interesting thing is, that if you have a phobia of an unusual thing, there WILL be a name for it.

Tell me your strange phobia and I will tell you what it is called.

And then I will find you a support group to join.

Anyone else antsy about balloons?

So I