Hump Day Report, now with added Mundane.

Mundane-A-Plenty this week and the year continues to whirl by like a big rig with dodgy breaks being driven by a truckie hocked up on no-doze and Red Bull.

I saw Christmassy shit in the supermarket and freaked the fuck out.

Panatone is not nice. Please restrict it’s marketing to commence on December 24.

But around this place, a few events stand out.


I was dared to wear a large floral headband on National TV while delivering a deadpan message about dodgy fashion trends that are in shops. Done with APLOMB people.


On Saturday Night we went en-mass Woog style out for dinner, where Jack showed us that white pants are not just a summer staple.


BabyMac was in the house and so I trotted her off to New Shanghai at Chatswood where I watched her eat things and shake her head for an hour. There may have been a tear. Have you been?


Celebrated pay day by making a small purchase. Click here if you love them as much as me. Bonus as they cause pain to small children to tread barefoot on your feet.

And finally…..


I unintentionally nearly burnt the house down.

The other morning, on exiting the shower, I smelt a burning pong. I raced into the kitchen. No burning. I checked all the heaters. No burning. I went out into the backyard. No burning.

I went into the bedroom.

HOLY FUCK BECAUSE ALL OF THE SMOKE!

The sun was positively beaming through the windows, it’s rays hitting the magnifying mirror I keep on the dresser for emergency squeezing sessions.

The beam, in turn, reflected off the mirror onto the pine with such ferociousness, that actual smoke was billowing up, filling the air with a putrid pong.

And it was then I discovered, as evidenced by my forensic photo above, that I had actually cheated death by fire 3 times before. The scorch marks tell the tale of my near death experience.

The mirror has been removed and, in effect, I may have saved everyones life. And they are yet to thank me.

Ungrateful is the word I would use here.

How about you?
Have you been a hero lately?
What are your worst new/old fashions in the shops?
Me?

Chambray Shortie Playsuits.
Try as I may, I just cannot make these work….