Chief Dobber and a Dilemma

Around these parts, we all have quite different personalities. Mr. Woog goes about his business quietly and with much consideration and care. Me? Well I gather you know that I am disorganised and a fan of corner cutting.

Fooey Fooey Moi Moi and his father XO are the worlds most obese guinea pigs and continue to eat their feelings as well as now, their hutch. The positively SCREECH at you when you walk past for MORE FOOD MORE FOOD MORE FOOD.

Chuy is a selfish asshole whose only concern is himself.

“Serve me…. wench”

Stanley the fighting fish is yo-yos between chronically depressed and then hyperactive. He also gives me nothing.

And then there are the kids.

Horatio is a devil-may-care type of a lad, who is always losing his shoe, forgetting his homework and laughs in the face of authority.

Jack is super organised, very clean, loves to follow the rules and calls me “My Darling.” He is also very, very skilled at dobbing on his brother which just. about. kills. me. several. times. a day.

It is like I have given birth to the Odd Couple.

So it was interesting this morning when I went to Huffy Puffy class with my mate Deb, who quickly informed me that she spotted BOTH boys riding to school with the helmets not on their noggins, BUT HANGING CASUALLY FROM THE HANDLEBARS!

“Are you saying..” I said “That Jack was not wearing his helmet?”

Deb confirmed her sighting and apologised for dobbing, quickly adding that if I was to ever sight her kids (she has 4) doing something wrong, then I was to dob as well.

Horatio not wearing his helmet was one thing, but Jack? My beacon of all things good? My goody two shoes son?


What to do, what to do…

Retribution will be swift, and by swift I mean at 3.30pm when school is out. Man, I hate a scene so I am handing this one over to you. I need some effective ideas.

What punishment should fit this crime?
And have you ever dobbed on someone else’s kids? What did they do?