10 Things I Hate About Gastro


  1. Your ability to strike right out of nowhere.
  2. Your ferocity.
  3. Your tendency to expel vomit in the middle of my bed.
  4. The extra washing, now with added lumps.
  5. Never-ending splatter fairies visiting the latrine.
  6. Your extreme unpredictability
  7. The way you sweep through the family with no consideration whatsoever.
  8. The way that you react to even the smallest sip of water like a fucking drama queen.
  9. And what is with the diced carrots?
  10. The slight promise of weight loss that goes unrequited.

Got any more to add?