7 things the shat me off this week.

Monday’s child is fair of face,

After ten years, I have finally started to take notice of the racks of magazines that I look at when I pay for my petrol, and have decided that I want to get my pre-baby body back. To be honest, it was not very good to start with. I was having one of those rare moments, so I went home and purged the house of anything delicious. A few days later, after watching some aggressive bum scratching action during reading groups, I picked up some combantrin “chocolate” squares. Last night, my kids found them and were beside themselves at the prospect of such a treat. Desperate times people..

Tuesday’s child is full of grace,

Mamamia editors quickly pulled this bitchy Facebook Update. Thank God. I was about to let myself off the chain.

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Wednesday’s child is full of woe,

Whoever invented the fucking recorder, please get in touch. We need to have words.

Thursday’s child has far to go,

Immigration Minister Scott Morrison has defended his decision to limit the access of a mother and her newborn son. Asylum Seeker Latifa, 32, has limited access to her ill baby under the ever watchful eye of guards, who then escort her back to detention for 18 hours. Could you even imagine? Morrison claims it is common practice for mothers not to spend the night with their babies. NEWSFLASH DICKHEAD! Babies have no idea what night and day even is. Sign the petition here.

Friday’s child is loving and giving,

The only thing my eldest son is giving me at the moment is grief. Teetering on the cusp of manhood, it is hormones a plenty, tears and frustrations. It is a glimpse into the scary world of impending teenager-hood and I am frightened. Hold me.

Saturday’s child works hard for a living,

Rape Victims, here is your problem, according to NZ Lawyer Keith Jeffries . “All she would have had to do was to close her legs … it’s as simple as that,” His client was already a convicted rapist. *Shakes head.*

But the child who is born on the Sabbath Day

Is bonny and blithe and good and gay.

Cardinal Pell and our Prime Minister. Where do we begin? Well let’s start with ceasing the circle jerking that exists between the two of you and start really addressing the diabolical acts of sex offenders seeking shelter from their crimes under their robes. Sort it out. It is starting to stink.

Years ago, a wise and experienced bloggy lady told me that it was a bad idea to write brain explosions.

But I think life is not a freaking Pinterest Board of pretty, and sometimes you must let it out.

Thus endeth the rant.