How To Use Fake Tan, PLUS Giveaway!

Sponsored by Garnier.

 Once upon a time there were two sisters called Mrs. Woog and Mrs. Ryan. Their brother had met a delightful English lass at the pub and soon the two were due to get married.

 The two sisters decided to get a spray tan before the big event, to make their tuck-shop arms more acceptable in their sleeveless outfits. The spray tanner chose the shade DEEP, and treated the sisters to a double dip.

 The day of the wedding dawned. The weather was beautiful. The bride looked divine. Families gathered from all over the globe to watch the uniting of these two lovely people.

 Meanwhile, the two sisters bore the brunt of many cruel jokes from their extended families. And that is how the term Tandoori Twins was born.

 The End.

Spray tanning disasters. Many people have encountered them. Even celebrities fall foul of an over-enthusiastic spray tan-gun-yielding beautician…

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And the latest craze in tanning? The ski mask tan, which makes you look like you have just come back from the Swiss Alps, or somewhere equally exotic. Seriously! This is a thing!


I hate going to get a spray tan! I feel extremely uncomfortable standing naked, being sprayed with that freezing mist. “Lift your breast…” I am often instructed and I am like “Oh my god….”. I really don’t care if my underboob is brown or not. I will stop now, as I am cringing.

The truth is that I really like having a light tan. I just feel better. I loathe lying out in the sun so I do it myself. So I thought I would share you some tips on how to get a tan at home, by yourself, with no humiliation involved.

  • Prep your skin. I always, ALWAYS exfoliate with a pair of exfoliation gloves that you can pick up from the supermarket for about 5 bucks. Pay particular attention to your knees, elbows and heels.
  • Dry yourself very thoroughly.
  • Step back into the shower with a can of this. It comes in 3 shades so just pick the one that will suit you. I use medium.


  • Spray slowly and evenly, starting with your legs and working your way up. It delivers a fine mist and you don’t have to rub it in. Walk around nude for a few minutes, or if you are time poor, hit up the hairdryer for a minute.
  • Get dressed and get on with your day.

It is that easy, but I like to take it up a notch.

Years ago, I read a hot tip from beauty guru Zoe Foster, author of Amazing Face. She advocated a light application of self-tan to your face every few nights before bed. It whitens your eyes, your teeth and evens out your complexion.  Don’t be frightened! Give it a go. Use this.

faceAnd the other one that I wanted to flag with you is this little beauty.

8_5010cbdb68ea9Bronze Minute is an instant tanning product that is super handy. You can whack it on like moisturiser onto your legs if you are wearing shorts and want a bit of colour in your pins. Or your arms, if you are going sleeveless. It is just one of those excellent, practical products that work. Instantly.

Self-tanning has come a long, long way since the chock top look. Now there is no excuse for you to get about like an Oompa Loompa.


Damn straight Gene!

Click through to Garnier’s Tanning Q and A page here. 

Click here to order.

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 With thanks to Garnier, I have two hampers packed with some of my favourite Garnier Products to give away.

To enter, share a self-tanning tip. Or a disaster?

Winners will be announced this Friday, 29th November on the Blog. Aussies Only. Sorry Merkins. x