2014 Predictions

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Yesterday, Kate and I were lying on the beach when all of a sudden she sat up and asked me…

“What do you think the grain of the year will be next year?”

I had to ask her to repeat her question a few times, as I had no idea what she was saying. She went on to discuss the popularity of certain grains. She explained that this year in was quinoa, last year it was some type of cous cous, so she was wondering what will be next.

I told her that I had no fucking idea what the grain of the year would be in 2014 and was about to say that I really didn’t give a rats, when she interrupted me with one word.

“Barley….”

And it got me thinking about trends in stuff. Last year in decorating, it was all about CHEVRON. This year you could not swing a throw cushion without hitting a PINEAPPLE.

Pantone have released the colour of the year, Please welcome…

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Which disappoints me terribly, as I was hoping it would be PUCE.

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What else will be trendy? I am hoping that we will see the end of the designer mongrel fad that has swept through the suburbs and am hoping that we will all embrace the sensible and steady corgi. I mean… good enough for Lizzie and all…

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And as I am starting to cultivate my own, I SAY BRING BACK MOUSTACHES ON WOMEN!

As far as fashion goes, well lets just say that it has been a very long time since the CULOTTES got an airing. I predict Collette Dinnigan will produce a range to be stocked in Target. Hair shall be long and split endy, with natural silver highlights appearing on catwalks all over the world.

Aqua aerobics will replace cross fit. What even if Cross Fit and why do so many people talk about it?

We shall continue with the juice obsession, but shall replace KALE with CAKE.

WE WILL ALL EAT A FUCK TONNE OF SUGAR AND BUTTER.

Port will replace wine. Ouzo will replace Vodka. Water will still be a staple, but more people will drink it with Jennifer Hawkins on the Bottle.

Speaking of Jen, she will start her foray into Federal Politics. YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!

Someone recently sent me an article, stating the BLOGGING WAS DEAD, so I predict that I will be looking for alternative employment at some stage.

Maybe I will get into Corgi breeding…..

What are your social, food, politics, fashion and trend predictions for 2014?

And what do we all think about BARLEY for 2014?