Early Onset Vagina Neck


Last week, I was travelling into the city to go to a meeting when I whipped out my iPhone to check if I had anything in my teeth and there it was.

On my neck. The first signs of vagina neck.

The creepy, crepey lines that you can see displayed on the elderly.

I dropped that phone as if it were a snake and immediacy put my fingers to my neck, in a stupid attempt to try and smooth out the lines.

It is disturbing, because I don’t feel old, but I am physically starting to succumb to the ageing process.

Recently I went and had my yearly check up, you know the one? Everything came back AOK, apart from having a slight deficiency in Vitamin D, off all things. You get Vitamin D from the sun.

You also get Vagina Neck from the sun, so something was not adding up in my head.

At Huffy Puffy last week, Mrs Sparks made me do some wrist strengthening exercises. You know how you see old ladies getting around with broken wrists? It is because when they fall, they put out their arm to stop themselves and SNAP!

BLOODY HELL, I AM PREPARING EARLY! But to be honest, I am as clumsy as all get out, and I need to be able to type if I want to be a successful granny-blogger.

After the discovery of my early onset vagina neck, I shared my  concerns with a dear friend who told me….

“I wouldn’t worry about it. I am the one who has to look at it.”

And you know what? SHE IS RIGHT! I am not going to worry about it. Just like I never bother to style the back of my hair, or check my outfit from the rear. Because I cannot see it.

Plus I have better things to worry about.

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VN and Road Map Forehead.

Don’t You?