How to make your own Christmas Crackers using organic felt, fairy farts and tiny wooden pegs.

The air conditioning broke down this week, adding a stinking hot few days into the mix that is the perfect storm of pre-Christmas panic. I have been swimming in neighbours pools. Back when I was young, my friend Penny’s Mum used to call me Summertime Kayte, because I would appear at their back door, towel slung over my shoulder, because they had a pool and we didn’t.

I got to tell you internets, Summertime Kayte has been dipping below the line of late. My beloved and I are completely and constantly pissy at each other due to the fact that he is unable to read my mind.

I myself, feel tremendous pressure to trot out the perfect Christmas for everyone. GODDAM IT I SAID FESTIVE NAPKINS…. pant pant pant.

The truth is, nobody gives a shit that the napkins are plain white.

I got a bit of truth serum this week from a FB follower. Jane’s advice?

Too much pressure on women at Xmas. Just drop the festivities and truck on through with the help of the takeaway shop.

In hindsight I could not agree with you more!

So paper plates it is this year. Tim the Flirty Butcher is doing the food. And I plan to sit under a tree, cake whole plugged with a bottle of Piper as I laugh and poke fun at my sisters, batting back the gentle ribbing that they give in return. There will be kids in underpants running around like hooligans under the sprinkler as we do what families should do on Christmas Day, which is be together.

I took the kids down to the beach this morning and watched them go nuts. I started reading this book.

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Straight off the bat, it was like reading my mind. If you are an over thinker, an over analyser, a worrier, a anxiety sufferer, a stress head (i.e. most of us) get your mitts on it, Did you know that Ruby Wax has a Masters in Mindful Cognitive Therapy from Oxford?

No, neither did I.

Am about a quarter of the way in, and so far a few things are standing our for me.

One is that as a society, we are becoming increasingly discontent with our lot.

The second thing is that we are not programmed as a species to deal with the world in which we have created. We feel the need to re-invent ourselves every 5 years or so, as back in the day we used to pop off the perch at 30.

And the last one is that we are all going to die.

So before you do pop your clogs, what are you going to do about stressing less?

Really, it is a conversation that I think, at this time of year, would benefit all.

DOES YOUR NAPERY MATCH YOUR CHRISTMAS THEME?