A beach holiday.

Screen Shot 2014-01-06 at 3.27.33 PM

I waved Mr Woog goodbye as he left Jabba to go back to work. I feel very sorry for him. Working, as I do, means that I can do it from anywhere, although the internet connection is as dodgy as fuck, slower than Cori Bernardi’s sense of progress. I just wish one of my neighbours called MADELINE&BEN would lift their security off their WIFI and give a gal a break!

We have been entertaining loads and catching up with old mates. It is amazing how popular one becomes when one has a beach house!

I have been reading magazines, pondering Miranda’s underpants and trying to picture myself in them. I think that my c-section scar would look delicious peeking out the top of them. I was also puzzled as to how many ads had models with their hands in their mouths. Have their mothers taught them nothing? That is exactly how you get worms. Filthy, filthy…..filthy.

Chuy is doing fine but has found himself a nemesis in the shape of a very, very fluffy persian cat. They like to growl at each other through the door. He comes inside at night, and I can still hear him growling at Fluffy. Fluffy is a bit on an asshole if I can be honest. He is also stalking the pigs. I sit at the back door with the Super Soaker and fire at will.

And how are we with the Ashes and the Brisbane International? And how good was Lleyton’s speech? I always thought him somewhat of a prat, an opinion I have happily changed.

Oh, and I went to Umina Woolies today. May I just say that Umina Woolies is by far the best Woolies in NSW, if not indeed the entire county. I went again the other day when my friend Kracker was staying, She is a very big wig at the supermarket, in charge of logistics. Even SHE was very impressed and located the manager to introduce herself. Bruce was the manager, and he was stacking salads. He was the most humble man I have ever had the pleasure of fan-girling. I know. I am sad.

I went to the magazine section and saw that an interview I did late last year for Prevention Magazine had come out. I have no idea how I could EVER be classified as a health blogger, indeed I am perhaps the antithesis, but there I am. Standing next to No Sugar Wilson whose legs ended where my breasts began. And those shoes I am wearing?

Well, they had to have 2 assistants stand either side of me until the last second. They would duck out of shot SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP, then wobble and fall. It was ridiculous and hilarious. People who can walk in those shoes need more tax breaks. And awards.

I think that is it. Best be off. I got some dugonging* to do.

Ever been to Umina Woolies?

Do you read Prevention Magazine with a chocolate eclair in your hand likeĀ a certainĀ someone ?

*dugonging means to lie on a boogie board so you don’t have to touch the bottom of the ocean because that is where the scary monsters are.