The Best Baby Shower Advice Ever!

Much talk in the news this week about Baby Showers, after an American lass decided not to attend the shower of a vague acquaintance she knew from college days. And I really don’t blame her, as I LOATHE baby showers for several reasons.

Apart from this one I went to years ago..

Anyway, so she decided not to attend, and low and behold received this poem in the post shortly thereafter.

We’re sorry you missed the shower!
There was fun and games to be had
The food and drinks not too bad
The loot was a plenty

But we looked high and low and found none from you
Not even a shiny penny!
Babies need a lot
Of this fact we all know

So we’ve included some shops below!
If none are to your liking, and that we understand
Then grab a pen and get to writing
For checks are to our liking!

(The *** Family is registered at these stores and checks can be mailed to this address.)

So appalled was she, that she sent this to media outlets, and of course it went viral. But it does get worse. Turned out the guests who did attend, but took gifts of their own choosing, received this little ditty….

We loved seeing you at the shower
Remember how the gifts they did tower?
We sorted them for hours
Upon sifting and sorting we noticed something amiss
For your gift didn’t match the list
To fix your situation we listed our stores below
But a check could also help us flow!

I will just let you digest that, while I go and stick a load of washing on the line…..

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The baby shower was intended for women to gather around a first time mother, have a cup of tea and pass on words of wisdom and experience. I recall my sister sitting me down and telling me, while I was duffed, that this was the single most best, and the single most worst thing I could ever do to myself. And then she poured a glass of wine and asked if I missed drinking. That was her advice, and low and behold it still rings true to this day.

I did not have a baby shower. I was like a conscientious objector of all things naff. I just did not see the point and thought, and still do, think it is just all about the gifts. Think about it.

You get a gift when you get engaged. One when you get married. One when you get up the pole and one for bringing a new person into the world. Too many gifts. And think about your mates?

It is stressful buying gifts. And the thoughtfulness has gone out of it all anyway. with expectations and bars being raised all over the place. Mr Woog and I still recalled the pressure of THE WEDDING REGISTRY, and recall the David Jones Lady insisting that our life will not be complete without cake forks.

I was chatting to a mate the other day, whose sister was having a baby shower. He said the most insightful thing. He questioned why would you hold such an event, when you just sat there uncomfortable and enormous while your mates drank booze and ate all things that you cannot, like sushi and soft cheese. Nobody wants a fucking fruit skewer at times like these…

He proposed that your baby shower should be held when your kid is a few months old, so you can get on the sauce and weep in the arms of your mates. They can bring you practical presents like gin, boxed series of GIRLS and giant slabs of chocolate. Brilliant.

Do you like or loathe baby showers.

AND A Fucked up Woogsworld T-Shirt to the person who writes the best Poem back to that greedy couple!

Winner announced and published on Friday 21st.