Sunday Special Guest – Anonymous

Today’s Sunday Special Guest has been asked to remain anonymous. Something Lynne, I have chosen to respect. She emailed this in following the tragic breaking of my kids arm.

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I was doing the laundry (yeah, our favourite job) and had dumped a pile of washing out of the dryer onto my bed in order to fold it. Whilst I was folding it the postman knocked the door. I raced downstairs, grabbed the parcel, ran back upstairs and opened the parcel. A smile on my face, I dumped the parcel on my bed and carried on folding washing. My bed is a king size with a big wooden surround BTW. Next thing I know I am waking up on the floor with my arm at a funny angle. I had fainted and smashed my elbow on the wooden bed surround.

My first though was where are the phones…both of them are downstairs, bugger! I stumbled downstairs and as my foot hit the bottom step the pain hit me.

To cut a long story short I phoned an ambulance and then my mother to pick up my son and five minutes later was gratefully sucking on gas and air whilst they filled me with morphine. The ambulance crew were brilliant but looked mystified when through tears of pain I asked them to get a certain parcel off my bed and put it in my handbag to take with me!

Half way to hospital ( I live in the wilds of Cornwall UK) they had finally got my pain under control and asked me what was so important about the parcel. Being full of morphine and completely off my head I happily told them it contained…. 6 small vibrators, 6 chocolate willies and a jar of lube!!!! Yup, I was going to a hen party that weekend and had ordered them for a laugh. The crew were laughing so hard by this time, one could barely drive and the other couldn’t hold still long enough to take my pulse.

They still didn’t understand why I needed to take it to the hospital. ‘Because my mother is a mormon’ I squeaked, which brought fresh gales of laughter.

I was in hospital for 12 days where they had to wait five for the swelling to go down and give me a complete new elbow, which took two years to learn to write with again and I still cannot do up bows or buttons! Oh and my mother found the parcel in my hospital locker the next day, by which time I was in too much agony to care 🙂