How to get rid of nits.

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Not since the summer of 2010 have the Woog’s been hit so hard by a plague of headlice. It was late Sunday afternoon, and I watched one of my offspring scratch himself stupid. Pulled out the old fine tooth comb and BINGO.

“You have yourself an infestation.” Retribution was swift.

Discovering your child has nits is right up there with any type of worm habitation, or strange rashes. Or the chicken pox. Getting nits it NOT a sigh of poor hygiene. I know this as I have done extensive research into the subject matter.

Truth be told, Suri Cruise is likely to have had nits. Same as all the Murdoch kids, including Sarah. Mum’s are not immune to getting them on occasion. It is the downside of showing affection to your children.

Mr Woog escaped the plague, which is easy to do when you sport a number 1 buzz cut all year round. I suspect I might have been harbouring a few parasitical refugees myself, so I gave myself a solid seeing to, and not in the good way.

And then there were all the calls I had to make.

“Hi there! You know how your kid stayed over on Friday night? Well, we have nits. See you!” 

From time to time, you will get a note home from school, pleading with you help to sort out the situation, which left unchecked can see half the class absent. It takes only ONE kid to have nits in the class, and the whole bleeding cycle starts again.

I had perpetual nits when I was teaching in London. I discovered it in the most horrifying way imaginable. It was pointed out to me by the trainee at Toni and Guy, who shrieked. Then I shrieked and ran straight from the salon into Boots to buy the strongest legal poison possible. I was teaching 3rd grade at the time, and their class speciality was not singing, or art. It was nit breeding. Eventually I learnt that if I pulled my hair into a very tight pony tail, and sprayed a can of string liquor over it, that would be my best defence.

The reason you scratch (and I bet you are by now) is that the nits actually FEED OFF YOUR SCALP. If that is not enough to have you reaching for some sort of deadly chemicals to put on your hair, them I do not know what is. Funnily enough, several sites insist that the best way to remove them is with lashings of conditioner, followed by a good old-fashioned comb through with a fine tooth comb.

I cannot help but wonder what Michelle Dugger would do, if nits ran though her place. And she does not even have the comforting benefit of vodka, at such trying times.

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The more we talk about nits, the less of a stigma is attached to this revoting and unnecessary creature. You are not a bad mum if your kids get nits. Just an unlucky one. Especially all you out there with long haired girls. I salute you!

Ever had nits at your place?

What is your preferred treatment?