How to grow a moustache.



A few weeks ago I was hanging out with a mate when I noticed that she had a long hair sprouting from her chin. I didn’t say anything. Perhaps I should have, but back then, I was unaware of how to address facial hair when it comes to rogue growth.

Later, she discovered it, and berated me for not letting her know. So that was my direct lesson in how to resolve this issue. Just hand over a pair of tweezers silently, and let the business get done. A bit like alerting someone that they have something in their teeth, or their boob is hanging out of their swimmers. My mum keeps a set in the car to amuse herself when the lights are red.

I bring this up now, as last night I discovered the beginning of my own moustache developing. It is just one single, darker hair sprouting from the corner of each upper lip. After years of listening to my friends complain about having to go and get their lip waxed, I had joined the secret club.

Oh, turning 40, could you be any more interesting and surprising?

Truth is, I see it as the beginning of the great hormonal jackpot. As women get older, they get a little more man juice running through their veins, scientifically known as testosterone. Not enough to make you leave the dirty plate on the top of the dishwasher, or watch the sports on tv with your hand absentmindedly shoved down the front of your pants, but enough to make you grow a little facial hair.

Is it some sort of cruel joke? Natures way of saying “Now that you are done breeding, let’s man you up a little mate!”?

Whatever it is, this little moustache of wine is not welcomed or required, so I am off this week to book in for my first LIP WAX. Or should that be LASER?

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Anyone else in this lovely club?

Any advice for a first timer?