How to remove ticks.


Do you know what I think I might have just mastered?

Tick removal.

Since leaving the city and moving to the burbs, I have become familiar with ticks, spotting them and operating on them. I am the only member of the family, apart from Fooey Fooey Moi Moi and XO, to have not been bitten by a tick.

I removed my first tick from the neck of Mr Woog at a 50th Wedding Anniversary Luncheon in Manly.

Next up, I removed this absolutely massive on from Chuy, which was right near his eye. THAT was an interesting situation, Eventually I had to stick Chuy down the arm of a jumper and basically lie on him to stop him from trying to scratch me to smithereens. It was the biggest one I had ever seen, and I got fuck all thanks from the cat for saving his life.

A few months later, I removed another one from Mr Woog’s head. My man likes to garden a lot and this is where he gets himself on the menu of these hideous pests.

Horatio once started to complain that he felt a bit sick, and a bit dizzy. I did a full body inspection and BANG! Found one gorging on blood from Horatio’s neck. OUT DAMN TICK, OUT I SAID!

And just last night, I removed a tick from the locks of Jack’s noggin.

So, just how do you remove a tick?

Well years of plucking at my face with tweezers has done me a huge favour when it comes to mastering the art of the tweezer. When it comes to tweezers, you should do yourself a favour and invest in the ultimate set.


Full disclosure, Benefit gave me a pair years ago. Rolls Royce of Tweezers.

You must locate the tick and use your fingers to spread out the skin around it. If it is on your cat, get and old jumper out and shove him/her in the sleeve. Dogs, by their very nature, are a lot more co-operative. Children will put up a bit of a protest and spouses are quite compliant. In my own opinion.

Get yourself in some good strong light and get the point of the tweezer as close to the head of the tick, which is embedded in its victim.

Now very gently and carefully, pull the tick out, trying to make sure that the head is not detached from the body, or you are completely rooted and will have to go to the vet/doctor for further surgery. Contrary to popular belief, do not use metho to “kill” it while it is in its victim. It just makes the tick really pissed off and pump for toxins into it’s dinner.

So, what to do with the tick? Well I stick it in a zip lock bag and whack it into the freezer. You do this in case the victim later falls ill and the doctor or vet will need that tick to see what type, gender and size it was. You will then find it a few months later when you go to clean out the freezer and think “WTF is this?” and chuck it.

I am sorry I didn’t include any photos of ticks for this post, but they are just too gross to share.

Have you had any experiences with ticks?

Are they just about the nastiest and most useless-to-society animal ever invented?