Sunday Special Guest – Little Wolff talks Apologetic Parenting.

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There’s a meme that keeps resurfacing lately to much applause, where parents are given a virtual pat on the back and a discount on their meal out because their one year old was “well behaved” while they are out eating.

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It’s not the only example that has received that much coveted award internet applause, the parents who pre-apologised for their BABY on a flight by giving out candy and ear phones have been held up as a paragon of virtuous parenting too.

It seems we on the cusp of a new era of parenting, Apologetic Parenting. Clearly its historical roots can be seen in the Victorian “children should be seen and not heard” movement. Let’s face it who wouldn’t want to hark back to those golden times when at the ripe old age of four children could be made useful and sent to work?
Obviously parents whose one year old can sit still and quietly in a restaurant have cracked the parenting holy grail and can teach us all a lesson in what we’re doing wrong, because it’s obviously not the child’s personality after a whole year of parenting, it’s totally how they are rearing their child. We should probably give them a medal and a book deal so they can share the Apologetic Parenting ideology with the world.

That way we can all raise a generation of people who go out of their way to avoid inconveniencing anyone, we could even print a series of t-shirts that simply say “sorry if my existence makes your day anything other than rainbows and glitter farts.”

It’s the least we can do, really, after all no child acts out if their parent has it under control. I mean there’s totally no such thing as sensory disorders, adhd, autism or even confusing feelings. If your kid isn’t an automaton you simply must be handing out free candy and a pre-apology. In fact the candy should definitely be the kind that is full of preservatives and colourings; ensuring that no-one tries to use chemicals as an excuse for their child having a difficult time processing the world around them. Because we all know that’s just what lazy parents say, I mean they’re so lazy they make their food at home to avoid going out and buying all that prettily packaged junk that marketers work so hard to give us, rude and lazy!

So who’s with me internet peeps? Apologetic parenting is the future. With our pre-emptive strike apologising for children being human beings who are working out their emotions and navigating a brand new to them world we can show those Canadians who’s sorry, or not. Oops better write them a quick sorry note for being more apologetic than they are…

In all seriousness, here is my little love note to those parents out there doing it tough with very real issues of children who struggle to fit the mold and whose big personality burns so bright that they can’t sit still, be quiet or fit those stereotypes of childhood that should have died out decades ago.

I see you, and my eyes are not judging, they are saying “I know, you’re doing the best you can, for you and that amazing brightly burning babe and the rest of us.” Because when they grow up they’re going to blaze trails that those meek ones couldn’t envision. Because people should take a look in the mirror when they call you selfish and realise that noone owes them a quiet easy ride.

And for the rest of you with those lovely go with the flow kids that don’t say boo, maybe you could show some solidarity and send those frazzled parents some love and support, or a stiff drink. I promise you they need it more than you need a peaceful outing and more than society needs a generation of doormats.

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Lila is a mother to two teenagers and a toddler; who traded the corporate life to enjoy living a little life with her little loves. Spending their days creating great food, making art and renovating their little home. Teaching them to neither follow the sheep nor devour them. She loves sharing glimpses of her life through her blog Little Wolff.

(and you should – her photography is amazing!)