White Bread Sandwich.


Week one back at school and I am already over making lunches. I am over locating the lunch boxes, throwing out the scraps of yesterdays lunches, wiping out the dodgy leftover food smear and doing the whole thing again. No one thanks me… no one even cares. And when you walk past the bench having farewelled your kids and spy their lunch boxes, well I almost pitch a bitch fit before running up the street like a banshee, waving the lunch boxes above my head yelling “YOU FORGOT YOUR LUNCHES!!”

But to be fair, I cannot recall any gratitude to my own mother, who did the same for me. I had a tin lunchbox in which, every single day, she placed a Vegemite sandwich, an apple and a milk arrowroot biscuit. The sandwich was wrapped in plastic and the other items bounced around in their tin chamber, smashing up agains each other. The whole thing would heat up like a motherfucker in my bag and so the sandwich was soggy, but I ate the lot anyway. I never gave it a second thought because there was playing to be done!

Nowadays, providing a spectacular lunch for your child is almost a competitive sport. I recall putting something up on Facebook a while back, showing a cheese and salami sandwich that I had made for my kid (because yes, my like is just that interesting that this is what I choose to share) and blow me down with a feather if I did not receive a barrage of judgement from others out there, telling me that I was basically a child abuser for not providing a more nutrition-dense bread.


It made me think. Should I be providing my child with a more nutrition-dense bread. And if so, what to choose? And what about gluten. I FEED MY KIDS GLUTEN! I give them a piece of fruit each day, which is only for show and just there in case some teacher or mum look at the contents of the kids lunch boxes. I give them rice crackers, a cheese stick and a frozen yoghurt. Today I even gave them a small lamington finger…. PLEASE GOD DO NOT STRIKE ME DEAD!

But as much as I would like to spend 40 minutes this morning making an echidna from 4 different types of super foods and writing them a little note, perhaps a haiku about love, I simply do not have the drive. But I do find it interesting to see others do it. Some clever clogs have even turned the art of lunchbox arrangement into businesses!

So to all of you our there, making your Vegemite sandwiches on white bread while skulking your coffee, at the same time signing off the dance note, untying a knot on a shoelace and yelling at your oldest not to bounce that ball inside or you might lose your shit, don’t worry.

A squishy, hot Vegemite sandwich everyday never hurt anyone.

Or did it? We actually do not have any statistics on that one, so scrap that last sentence until the report comes back.

What is is your kid’s lunchbox?

What was in yours, back in the day?