Adventures with Siri.

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I think it is widely known that it is near impossible to get lost when you are driving around Canberra. I believe it is because the Government really does not want any of the public servants to be confused. Or late for work. Or inconvenienced in any way, The streets are civil, with polite drivers getting about their day. They are very well sign posted and dotted with pleasant gardens and neat buildings.

It is probably the local version of The Truman Show, if The Truman Show had large grey buildings.

And so the Woogs roll into town, proceed to get lost, have quite a large fight and pull the car over.

You could see the hotel that we were headed for as it had a big bloody sign on the top of it, in the horizon. I suggest that we just follow the signs to Acton, and then navigate our way towards the sign. Mr Woog chucked a small but meaningful bitch fit, said something that can only be translated into something like… “My darling love, I fear you do not know they way…” but with much more passion.

And then he snubbed me for Siri.

Siri lives in Mr Woog’s phone and is called upon in times of need. It turned out that Siri was in a bit of a state herself, and directed Mr Woog to cover every street in Canberra, taking us in consecutive circles further and further away from our intended target. Each time I tried to suggest that Siri was off her chops, I was treated with the Shield of Silence.

The Shield of Silence generally turns me into a raving loony, but this time, I just sat quietly, while back and forth, back and forth I watched the hotel go past. Each time Siri would instruct Mr Woog to take the next left in 300 metres, which he obediently did, and we would again, travel back and forth, back and forth, passing the hotel, which was unattainable as it was a few roads away, and Siri refused to let that stand in the way of her fun.

Eventually I heard a small voice from the back.

“I want to strangle Siri.”

With that, I whipped around and delivered a firm lecture about how we are not a violent family and I will not have such things said. That no one deserved to be threatened, even if it was a robotic, psychotic  iPhone made up lady who was fucking with our minds. (except I didn’t say the fucking bit).

Eventually Mr Woog started to ignore Siri and use his sense of direction. We pulled up in front of the hotel in silence.

Apart from Siri, who told us to turn left onto Northbourne Avenue.

Siri. Friend or Foe?