The Art of Thinking Clearly.

I am not a fan of e-readers. I can read media on a screen, but not a book. There is something about picking up a book, turning the pages, sticking in a bookmark or folding the corner of the page over, that you just cannot get from staring at a screen. It is a more intimate experience. Do you understand what I mean?

Probably not, as I have woken up with the flu and are delirious with fever. This post is being written under the influence of Sudafed.

But I shall persist.

Last night I was on the plane home. I had elected to be THAT PERSON WHO WILL SAVE YOU, by choosing an exit aisle seat. A member from the crew asked me whether I was willing and able to assist in the even of an emergency, and I looked her straight in the eye and told her… “Absolutely!”. Truth be known, if there were to be an emergency, I would perhaps be the least capable person to assist, but leg room can make a gal lie.

The same lady asked me to hold an electronic device of hers, so she could arrange some overhead bags. Naturally I read the screen, which was full of aviation lingo. When she had finished playing luggage tetris, I handed it back to her, telling her that I knew what all that lingo meant, because I was close to finishing this….

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So we had a chat about flight attendants. She told me of secret Facebook pages that are set up for gossip and tales of misbehaving passengers. This book really made me think about the ins and outs of being a flight attendant, and the crap that they have to put up with. In some cases, quite literally. She asked me what the book was like. I told her the truth. It was fun, fast and fabulous. Owen shares his stories about travelling the world, gossips about celebrities and delves into the inner politics of working within the industry.

By the end of the flight, I had knocked that book over and as I left, I handed it to her, telling her to enjoy it. It was hers to read and pass on.

My agent gave me this book recently….

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I think that she thinks that I think that I think too much, and with so many thoughts flying around my cerebral cortex, sometimes they all crash into each other and I forget what I was trying to say. Squirrel.

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Sometimes the cover of a book is all I need to convince myself that I am living my life all wrong, and something comes over me. The need to purchase, consume said book and re-write the rules of how I live. Last week, this happened to me.

Remember when I took up knitting? Well, it was the false start of a combination of trying to think clearly, and be still. The knitting only lasted until they day after I wrote that blog post. It have me such the shits, that it was turfed into the Sulo and is now landfill. Anyway, this particular book called to me…

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A GUIDE TO SIMPLE LIVING! That is exactly what I needed to be a better, clearer thinker! A peg, a ball of string and an egg. I thought to myself “What have I cluttered my life up with? I need this book and I need it NOW!”

As I waited to pay for my new guide to life, I turned it over.

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And I really asked myself the question. What was the likelihood of me actually growing tomatoes, baking break and preserving fruit. The answer to that question dear reader, was a big fat NIL! So I put the book back and went and ate a Spinach Roll from Michele’s Patisserie instead.

Anyway, here is a list of possible titles that I would actually benefit from.

  • 99 Reasons never to make Spaghetti Bolognese again.
  • How to lose ten kilos while watching a Container Wars Marathon.
  • The Ultimate Guide to Mobile Dumpling Vans in Sydney.
  • How to keep a laundry clear.
  • So, you want to be a professional First Class Passenger. Now what?
  • The Truth about Used By Dates.
  • Wagon Wheels. The secret to younger skin, and other beauty myths debunked.
  • Sudafed makes you be a gooder-er writer. A simple guide.

A you a self-help book whore?

What titles can you recommend?