The Yellow Peril

Warning. The following blog post contains images that some readers may find offensive. Reader discretion is advised.

When I go to a cafe and order some deliciousness, I always ask… “Does that have mayo on it?”. Because I hate mayo.

I think it stems back to when I was in kindergarten and I was at a friend’s house. Her mother was one of those awesome stay at home mum’s, you know the traditional types who made everything from scratch and had a slight drinking problem. Anyway, she served up lunch. There were some hot chips involved and a big dollop of mayo. I dipped the hot chip dipped in mayo and it was not nice. So instead of just telling her I didn’t like it, I squashed that hot chip under the table, much like one does with chewing gum if you are gross.

Lets remember that I was 5.

She discovered what I had done. I suspect she had not had her breakfast vodka, because she called me a FILTHY CHILD!

That incident resulted in a mild case of post traumatic shock, and cemented my forever hatred of mayonnaise.

And before I move on, aioli is mayonnaise. So when I ask the waiter “Does that have mayo on it?” and they tell me no, just aioli….. IT IS THE SAME FUCKING THING.

But there is another food that divides the masses. I know this because both my sister Mrs Ryan and my sister-in-law Miss Woog suffer from it. And it was confirmed during a lively discussion over on the WoogsWorld Facebook Page.

They both suffer from BANANA-PHOBIA, and yes. It is a real condition. Google it.

Mrs Ryan realised that she had a problem when she had just given birth. A few hours later she ate a banana and left the blackened end in the skin on the tray. And them her mother-in-law leant over, retrieved the skin and gobbled up the end of it. And we all know this now requires an info infographic.

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Mrs Ryan lost her shit and burst into tears. She has never really gotten over it.

Miss Woog has always had banana-phobia, compounded with an incident involving baby Harry, who had just eaten a banana, and a car trip on a windy road. I will not go into it any further, because she reads along here, and I don’t want her to vomit in her office.

“People with banana-phobia are often repulsed by the sight of bananas, cannot stand the texture or smell of bananas, and cannot be in the same room with bananas.”

-The Examiner

Bananas make most bodies sing, but not those who suffer from this debilitating phobia. They are known to shake, sweat, feel nauseated at the sight and the smell. They cannot eat anything remotely banana related, such as banana bread, banana cake, banana ice-cream, and in some extreme cases, they cannot even say the word…. BANANA.

So the yellow peril can affect the way that some people behave, and naturally I have to ask…

What is your food phobia? Avocado? Tinned Tuna? Runny eggs?…… BLUE CHEESE?

What do you detest?

The Yellow Peril is used in this sense as a nod to a common term used in the banana industry.