5 of the Best – MOM JEANS

Last week I was murdering myself at Huffy Puffy class when I noticed a teenage girl walking past.

She was probably thinking “Look at those old ladies…. how embarrassing for them…”

While I was thinking “Young lady, what the hell are you wearing?”

This young lady in question was wearing small, cut off shorts, big black boots and a flannelette shirt, with another one tied around her waist. Just like one would get about in, back in the early 90’s.

NEWSFLASH! DID YOU KNOW GRUNGE IS BACK?

Neither did I. But now as a forty something, bedraggled, tired and confused mum, I am never going to be able to pull off that look, even if I had the desire.

BUT, another thing of interest I discovered is the return of the MOM JEAN, an option far more practical and accessible for myself and my fellow peers. This, from TOPSHOP…

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So if you like the look of wide, flat bottoms, perhaps a side of elastic waist and the opportunity to show off your camel toe for all the world to see, come take my hand as we discover together, 5 of the very best options for you. Clogs optional.

Millers

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These classic MOM jeans are on sale for just $15. My favourite thing about these jeans is the description about them… “Add your favourite top or knit jumper and you’re ready for any adventure.” ADVENTURE ALRIGHT YOU SAUCY MINX! Click here to order.

Crossroads

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The natural enemy of the Muffin Top, Crossroads MOM jeans have something called slim and shape technology, which confuses me somewhat. What is a better word to use here than technology… fabric perhaps? Anywho, they go up to a size 22, and for $44.95 they are all yours HERE.

River Island

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These are perfect for trendy mum fashionistas who really want to push the boundaries with this trend. Clever design allows the fabric to positively FLARE from the hip, making your thighs quite the feature. The lighter tone wash allows for superior camel toe display. Work it back with a short sleeve flanno, and you are hawt baby!  Click for the deets.

Sportsgirl

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Designed to fit firmly smack up your clacker, there is a lot going on in this jean. A bit of distress, a bit of stonewash, and a whole lot of attitude. And they are on sale! BONUS. Buy them here. They are called the Extreme Distressed Relaxed Fit, and they indeed leave me extremely distressed.

Ezibuy

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With the sniff off summer in the air, maybe it’s time to lighten up your Mom Jeans with these bewdies from Ezibuy. And for just $19, grab a pair in all TEN colours! SWEET DEAL HERE.

So now what? I have taken you to water but I cannot make you drink. If you are as confused about the return of the MOM JEAN as I am, and you need some inspiration on how to style your long flat bum and straining crotchal area, take a leaf out of the gurus of Mom Jeans. The Bee Gees. Whack them on, turn it up and STRUT!

MOM JEANS…. are you in?

Which is your favourite pair?

Edited to add – “Having received several emails on the subject, I think it is safe to say that my tongue was firmly in my cheek when I wrote this. Am not advocating the return of the actual MOM JEAN, but merely pointing out the fact that indeed, they are back in the stores and should be approached with caution. Thank you for your time.”