Want to know how to instantly piss people off?

Want to know how to instantly piss people off?

Write a tongue in check column about particular diets. I must admit, I am no expert about nutrition. So I asked the pocket rocket that is Katie Rainbird, who actually IS a professional in the field, to share her thoughts on the Paleo Movement. (For heaven sake don’t call it a diet. I learnt that one the hard way….)


Recipe here.

Before penning this post for Mrs Woog’s very excellent blog I thought I’d compare two recent dietary trends*, I typed “Paleo diet” into Google and got this: About 11,900,000 results (0.15 seconds) then I typed “How to make a rainbow cake” and got this: About 18,800,000 results (0.54 seconds).

Now if there were such a thing as a Paleo Rainbow Cake it would just WIN the internet yeah?!

*Not to suggest that rainbow cake is an actual diet, but you know, people the world over are celebrating stuff every weekend and they all seem to want the rainbow cake – more so than how to eat on a Paleo diet. And I will be so bold as to confess this brings me a smidgen of joy.

The joy of cake.

Please note that I am not advocating for a diet filled with cake, rather what I’m trying to say is this:

Cake; when made from scratch using good ingredients (wholegrain flours, organic dairy and eggs, sugar free cocoa, natural flavorings and colorings, whole butter or coconut oil icing [there’s many ways to healthy-fy a cake]) and when eaten, as a minority percentage of an otherwise whole foods diet is FUCKING LUSH and WITHOUT SHAME.

Note my mention of a “whole foods diet”, which is essentially what the Paleo diet constitutes.

Although there are myriad versions of the Paleo diet its primary guidelines are to eat wild game and fish, grass fed organic livestock and their produce, fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, herbs and cold pressed oils.

YES! A great line up of foods, I agree that these are virtuous and worthy of regular rotation on our plates from breakfast through to dinner.

But there’s no rainbow cake on that list. Which makes it immediately not allowed and therefore a no-no. Bad. Wrongful to consume. Only the weaker Paleo dieter will know the pleasure of tucking in at a birthday party.

I don’t get on board tying guilt up with eating because I believe that the communication between the mind and the body plays a substantial role in the outcomes of one’s diet.

Again, I am not advocating for a diet loaded with non-nutrient crap providing that you repeat positive affirmation mantras to yourself the entire time you eat. “I am slender and without cholesterol problems. I am slender and without cholesterol problems. I am slender and without cholesterol problems” all the while hoovering a Big Mac and washing it down with a giant diet soda. Erm, no.

What I’m saying is: If you eat a whole foods diet most of the time then eating a piece of cake at a birthday, enjoying a fine quality all butter French pastry over coffee with your best friend, or dipping a couple of chocolate biscuits into your tea whilst you watch late night TV is you know, OK.

SO many Paleo believers/fans/dieters/zealouts/hardcoremotherfuckingbeefbrothslupers will report the dramatic and amazing upward turn of their health since “going Paleo”.

Well, DER if you switch from whatever your diet was (likely not largely whole foods) to free range livestock, organic eggs, fresh organic produce then hell to the yeah you’re going to lose weight, reduce biomarkers of inflammation, reduce symptoms of disease or infection, feel vital and fit into your skinny jeans.

You might even start taking selfies in your underwear and pashing yourself in the mirror. Why the fuck not you have a hot primal body now.

As a nutritionist most of my battles arise in the form of people freaking out about what to eat, how to cook from scratch, how to substitute their favourite processed foods with whole food ingredients.

So I understand the popularity of the Paleo diet, the rules are pretty clear-cut and the frenzy of positive feedback is abundant. It’s easy to follow along with: everybody else is doing it, why not me?

But I have chosen, after many, many hours spent reading a broad array of articles (from both biased/observational and scientific sources) to remain steady in my faith in a traditional whole foods diet which also incorporates grains, legumes and dairy.

Since qualifying as a nutritionist I have made many adjustments to diets which looked quite similar to the guidelines for the Paleo diet but it was just called eating well from a wide variety of whole foods and fresh, seasonal produce meanwhile not eating shitloads of processed white flour, high fructose corn syrup, genetically modified foods and packet crap.

FUCK!, revolutionary.

Look, I’m speculating here but if ancient man were to thaw out from an icicle block and turn up to my 5yo’s party I bet his hairy ass he’d tuck into a piece of rainbow cake and declare it to be most excellent.

Life is short and best not filled with copious amounts of processed foods and resultant metabolic disease but let’s not take the joy out of it where it can be found in humble, home made ways.

That’s it, I’m coining a new diet: #homeo

Katie Rainbird (AKA Katie180) is a Sydney-based Nutritionist who is just as likely to be found jogging as she is baking. She is a mother to two, a keen home cook, prefers to get around in her workout gear and has a major passion for the written word. You can learn more at www.katie180.com.au.