#gag

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She had just finished delivering a lecture about how everyone should drop their attitudes, stop being so ass-holey and how they are going to enjoy their family holiday whether they like it or not, when something hit her nostrils.

Her face contorted into something akin to a gargoyle, with her nose screwed up and lips pursed together like a cats bum. It was a powerful, vinegary stench that permeated the entire car, so thick, you could almost cut it with a knife.

“The bloody cat has pissed everywhere!” The cry came from her husband…. “For fuck’s sake.”

And as the 4 windows were lowered, he continued on with his tirade, saying unthinkable things about the cat, against the howling protests of the children. She leaned her head out of the window, gulping in huge lungfuls of fresh air. She was not known for her tolerance of all things gross, and has been known to throw up at the mere description of vile happenings. Her friends know this well, and avoid certain topics of conversation with her, particularly if there was anything pus related.

Sonia Kluger began her descent down the valley, where Jabba the Hut was waiting for the family to arrive, and as she pulled into the driveway, Chuy the Cat threw up his entire breakfast onto the piss soaked floor of his cat carrier. It was all to much for her, as she fled into the house gagging.

After she recovered, she poured herself a glass of water and looked out the kitchen window where her husband stood, hose in hand. He was muttering under his breath as he sprayed out the contents of the cat carrier onto the scrubby, beachy garden. Once he completed this task, he threw the cat carrier into the sun, on the driveway.

Where it still remains to this point.

#GAG