All round excellence in the field of outstanding-ness.

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On last count, over the past week, I have spent 9 hours sitting in various halls around Sydney, listening to speeches. In between speeches there have been ballet dancing,  jazz hand type dancing with little flourishes, singing en mass, and I have watched about a billion little certificates given out. Oh, and medals for those who are truly gifted academically, and trophies for the sporty types.

I have sung Advance Australia Fair a-plenty and listened intently to Welcome to Country. And something struck me.

When I was in school we sang God Save the Queen and then Advance Australia Fair, but just the first bit. Did you know that up until 1974, God Save The Queen was our national anthem, and then Whitlam got all like “Fuck that for a joke” and then there was some argy bargy, typical of the era, and then Advance Australia Fair and … can you believe this… “Waltzing Matilda” went neck a neck to achieve the title of our national Anthem.

Advance Australia Fair won.

I am not slagging off Waltzing Matilda, but I just don’t think I want a national anthem that contains the lyrics…. “Whose that jolly jumbuck you’ve got in your tucker bag”. It just doesn’t seem right, or relevant. Or even normal.

Anyway, we just sang the first verse, and I still have to look at the wall (you know, of the assembly hall) which has the second verse printed on it, including the lines….“For those who’ve come across the seas, We’ve boundless plains to share..” which we might have to change because turns out.. We don’t!

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UP JUMPED THE TROOPERS

Anyway, I was sitting watching the Year 5 Presentation Day Assembly, and I was struck by how big this kids became over the year. Like ginormous! We Woogs are not known for our ability to win awards, and it is a tradition that I am proud to announce will continue into 2015. But because every child is a winner, the kids both got a certificate to say that they were appreciated.

Horatio had even convinced the school that his formal name really WAS Horatio, and according to his teacher who I spoke to afterwards, he had concocted some cock and bull story about how it was a traditional Hungarian Family name that was handed down though the generations. When really it was a Nickname that I called him since he was a baby. I almost fell off my seat when they announced Horatio Woog. His birth certificate says it is Harry.

One of the awards that puzzled me was that awarded for conscientious endeavour. I googled it but as far as I can make out, it is for all round excellence in the field of outstanding-ness. I suspect I will never be given this title. However, if there was an award for “Half Ass-ness At Life in General” I might be in with a shot.

Have you officially finished with official ceremonies for the year?

Did your kid you win anything?