The Seven Year Itch of Ladydom.

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One of the things about being a lady-writer of the internet is that you really get to know people, particularly those lovely folk who gets involved in the conversations that I start. So armed with a solid general knowledge about the modern woman, I present you with my observations about the Seven Year Itch of Ladydom, and how we (generally) change as the years fly by.

I am not sure if ladydom is even a word, but I am claiming it.  It is officially now a thing.

7 – So you are not a baby anymore and probably have big scabby knees because you are not afraid of anything.

14 – You are a total cow, particularly to your mother, because you have these dreaded hormones having a big fucking party in your body, that are making you cry a lot (in between dry humping your pillow.) You also know EVERYTHING and you think EVERYONE is stupid apart from your BFF.

21 – You still know it all but you have absolutely no idea what to do with it because you have no experience. You also have fantastic skin because the damage done by the sun when you were 7 has not come to the surface yet. Take many selfies.

28 – You have gained the experience but you have no real vision.

35 – You have the vision but your confidence is eroding.

42 – This is where I am sitting right now, and the clouds are starting to lift. You are more sure of yourself and less worried about what other people think of you. You have learnt to let go of toxic friendships without guilt and you are not afraid to say no.  *fist bump*

49 – You are supremely ruling the world.

56 – You are beginning to think you should cut your hair short and wear feature earrings everyday.

63 – You accept your age and let the grey hair run wild.

70 – You really do not give a shit what others think of you. You could have done with a dose of this back when you were 35.

77 – Your spoil your grandkids and advise your own offspring often, how karma works.

84 – Your eyes are wise and your memories long. If anyone wants to ask, you have the best stories and advice. You just need someone to ask you.

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The 7 Year Itch in action in 1986. I am 14 and Mum is 42. Bang on the money when it comes to my scale.

So, we are all old friends here.

How old are YOU and where do you fit on my 7 Year Itch of Ladydom?

Have I missed anything?