“Can I please have one nachos, one bucket of prawns and a fisherman’s basket.”

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So my sister and I were lined up yesterday at the local Beachfront pub, ready to order some lunch. This particular pub has recently changed hands and the food is now worth the wait. It used not to be. But word has got out and now the line at 1pm snakes out the door.

So you have about 20 minutes to decide what you are wanting to eat. You also get a sneak peek at the dishes as they pass you, on the way out to the smarter people who got in earlier.

Despite this amount of time, and food preview, it was evident that a lot of people, who when they got to the front of the line, seemed to get all surprised and flustered, as if they had no idea why they had been queuing at all. And when asked what number table they were sitting at, they had to actually leave the line and go and find out.

Now some people are naturally more impatient than others. My sister is one of those people.

I am of the opinion that even if you get frustrated and annoyed, it is not going to make anything move faster so you may as well just chill the fuck out.

We were second in the line when the group in front of us really put on a fabulous display of not being organised. They had a million questions about each and every item on the menu, including portion sizes, gluten-free options and whether they could have the fish and chips without the fish.

They also had to send a representative back to their table to tell the server that they were sitting at table 24.

It took about 5 minute, the whole interaction, which left my sister seething.

Eventually, it was my turn.

“I am on table 22 and can I please have one fish and chips, one chicken parmie, one bucket of prawns and one nachos. Thank you.”

The server repeated the order back to me, I paid. General happiness ensued.

It was all a bit like the soup nazi episode in Seinfeld.

Mrs Ryan also has a competitive streak and told me that she could do hers faster.

“Can I please have one nachos, one bucket of prawns and a fisherman’s basket.”

She looked at me smugly.

“Have you ever had someone order so efficiently?” She even asked the server, who indeed agreed that no, she had never, ever served such an efficient person.

Indeed she was clear with her diction and tone, so I let her have her moment in the sun, grabbed some cutlery and went back to Table 22.

After a while, she had still not returned.

Still not……


And then, a few minutes later she did, all a flustered. She yelled at Mr. Ryan to go inside and enter the correct PIN number on her card, for she had a temporary mind blank and forgotten it.

Mr. Ryan walked up the counter under the glare of the now dozens gathered behind him and completed the transaction.


Don’t you just LOVE IT?