Microdermabrasion* for free? Ask me how!

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Ever since I wrote this post, I have re-evaluated the way that I enter the water. I was spending way to much time torturing myself, and now?

Well, I run at that shoreline like an upright baby hippopotamus might do, take a giant leap, and land with aplomb! It is so much better, and although it still maintains some sort of dramatic fashion, it is over and done with.

Game. Changer.

This morning I joined friends Bev and Nikki at a different beach, one with actual waves and a surf lifesaver on patrol. The sea was a sparkly turquoise, with not so much as a spot of weed to be seen. Perfect conditions for some serious dugonging, which was my intention.

So in I flew, like a giant albatross. I landed on my boogie (dugong) board so hard, I momentarily winded myself. But my discomfort was short lived as I realised that there was a big mother-fucking wave headed straight for me, and a stupid dad was about to launch his son, perched on top of an inner tube type flotation device, straight into my direction.

And I had that moment. That moment when you simultaneously wet your pants, while your survival instinct kicks in. As the stupid father gave his kid a shove, straight into my head, the wave broke with a tremendous roar, and I was gone, tumbling around in the white wash of the wave, while being smacked about my person by the boy and the tube thing.

At one point I turned religious.


It felt like I was underwater for 3 minutes, as my face made contact with the soft, sandy bottom, giving me a free micro-dermabrasion treatment. But in truth it was only probably 3 seconds. I lost the board, but I didn’t fucking care. Staggering up the beach, I told my mates what had happened. Bev made some lovely soothing noises while I lay in my towel, trying to compose myself.

So, dearest ocean. Thank you for continuing to delight and terrify me at the same time.

Have you ever been dumped?

* Microdermabrasion is a general term for the application of tiny rough grains to buff away the surface layer of skin.