A Personal Update of Current Scenarios.

I am currently staying at a place at Whale Beach, on the northern end of Pittwater Peninsular. You see my oldies hired a house to take all the grandkids away for a beach holiday (because we have not had much of that this summer). My younger sister and I thought about the reality of having 6 boys and one girl, whose ages span from 6 to 16, under one roof and decided (luckily, as it turns out) to stay and assist with the ensuing chaos.

Do you know what 6 boy cousins do when put together? Yes, you guessed right! They spend a fair amount of time rumbling, and belting the shit out of each other. And eating. Oh the food we are going through!

Screen Shot 2015-01-22 at 9.37.08 AM

I am the MASTER of UNO this week and to spice it up a little, we have UNO ATTACK where a machine spits out cards at you, like some sort of exorcist. It is thrilling and frightening at the same time.

May I present to you the eating machines!

Screen Shot 2015-01-22 at 9.45.25 AM

Last night Lizzy and I escaped the zoo and shlepped up the hill to catch up with a couple of mates from Uni days. Both lads are relatively new dads and I haven’t seen them for eons as they have been living large in overseas destinations. We discussed the finer points of parenting and I found it interesting that they were both a bit frightened of their wives in those first few months.

We took the time to explain to them what happens when tiredness collides with hormones and yes, “YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!”

And then we went on to discuss everyones birth stories, in fine detail. Again terrifying, yet amusing.

It was ironic really, as I sat with a former notorious pants man, while he realised that his wife as about to arrive home with their baby therefore decanted the hummus into a ramekin, because otherwise he would get into trouble.

His house had a decent view.

Screen Shot 2015-01-22 at 9.37.59 AM

So as the summer holidays SLOWLY FUCKING LIMPS TO AN END ENOUGH ALREADY NO MORE QUESTIONS SOMEBODY MAKE IT STOP, I am quite ready to return to some sort of normal. Although Mr. Woog is over the other side off the planet for a few weeks, and discovered how to send emoticons of kissy faces which is either adorable, or fucking irritating depending on my mood, come next Wednesday I will practically shove those kids out the door.

And run around the house naked screaming YIPPEEEEEE!

Anyone else ready to send the kids back to school?