Shoplifting at Coles.


The other day was a stinking hot day. I had to go to the supermarket and let me tell you this for free, walking into that air-conditioning was just about the best feeling ever. It was the sort of heat that kept folk indoors, so it was very quiet in that supermarket, apart from the fact that I could not go past the ice cabinet without sticking my face inside.

As I was PARCHED, I walked passed the milk isle, where a small but perfectly formed bottle of chocolate MOOVE beckoned me over, and fell into my throat. It was icy and milky and chocolately and delicious. I threw the empty bottle into the cart, and continued on my merry way.

I reached the checkout. Don’t you think it is funny how when you start to put your stuff up on the revolving belt that the person in front of you grabs that dividing stick straight away, just incase they end up paying for your Listerine? Now, I don’t know about you, but talking to checkout people is one of my favourite things to do. EVER. God I am lame, but tis the truth….

Why just last week, I took some decent parenting advice from a teenage boy, who observed my kids having a minor kerfuffle.

Anyway, I reached the till and started in with my usual opener…

“So, been busy today?”

Christine was in her mid fifties I suspect, and looked completely over it. We chatted away about this and that, before she came to the empty Moove bottle. I told her about it falling into her mouth.

I asked Christine if that indeed was an act of theft, considering that I had consumed it without buying it, and perhaps she should call security.

“Do I look like the sort of person that gives a crap?” but said with a sparkle in her eye.

And with that, the floodgates were opened as we embarked on a most wonderful and witty dialogue about shoplifting and shoplifters. Apparently they are easy to spot. Items that are most likely to be pinched are DVD’s, Small Appliances, Home Hair Colouring Kits, Biore Pore Strips and “Anything that you can sell down the pub…”

“So can you tell that I have a 2 kilo bag of kitty litter shoved down the back of my pants?” I enquired…

She glanced down…. “Nup…” Which of course insinuated that my ass was huge!

And we laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed.

Do you random chat with strangers?

Anyone spring to mind?

Have you ever “Shoplifted” from Coles?