Wednesday

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Yesterday I managed to finish of my work and my “to-do” list relatively early, so instead of partaking in some sort of self-enhancing activity, such as getting one’s nails done or going for a brisk walk, I turned to Pinterest to have a perve on the lives of others.

For those not in the know, Pinterest is a website where you can look at photos and PIN them to your BOARDS . I have one board on Pinterest called Meet Some Cats.

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Anyway, there I was wasting my life away when I noticed a picture of an impeccable linen cupboard and I thought to myself, “I want an impeccable linen cupboard” so without thinking I went and started pulling everything out of the linen cupboard. There were things in that cupboard that were not even linen. It was in a right foul state, and then I got bored and walked away.

For the rest of the day, the bedraggled collection of towels, pillow cases and sheets annoyed me so, and I was caught in that terrible position of creating my own monster and now having to deal with it. I watched Ellen. Nicole Kidman was on, telling everyone about how wonderful her husband was. I BET HE DEALS WITH THE LINEN CUPBOARD.

The clock was ticking and I knew that if I didn’t face that hallway before the kids got home, then it would be like the linen cupboard won. And I will be damned if I was going to let that happen. So I finished pulling everything out of it and felt completely overwhelmed. I felt like throwing myself on that heap and yelling “WHY! WHY DID I THINK THAT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?”

And then I remembered the pinterest photo…

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So off I went. Sorting shit onto different piles. Looking at the Dora the Explorer donna cover and wondering why it was still in my possession. Towels from a decade ago that had the texture of a brillo pad. Once-white pillow cases. I mean, does this shit breed or what? I mean, do I really require 17 face washers in varying degrees of deterioration?

I sorted that motherfucking pile and started folding and folding and folding, until I was left with this…

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When the menfolk all came home, I showed them that cupboard and quickly realised that no one gave a shit. Ten percent of me wants to visit that cupboard often and admire it. Ten percent of me wishes that linen was never invented and the other 80 percent of me regrets that Pinterest was also,  never invented.

So the lesson today, my friends, is admire and yearn for qualities that are worthy. No one really lives life like a Pinterest board, well, nobody that I know anyway. I say keep Pinterest free from this type of guilt-inducing fodder and leave it for the cats.

If I looked in your linen cupboard, what would I see?

Anyone still using the old roll, shove and close the door method?