Wednesday

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Yesterday I managed to finish of my work and my “to-do” list relatively early, so instead of partaking in some sort of self-enhancing activity, such as getting one’s nails done or going for a brisk walk, I turned to Pinterest to have a perve on the lives of others.

For those not in the know, Pinterest is a website where you can look at photos and PIN them to your BOARDS . I have one board on Pinterest called Meet Some Cats.

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Anyway, there I was wasting my life away when I noticed a picture of an impeccable linen cupboard and I thought to myself, “I want an impeccable linen cupboard” so without thinking I went and started pulling everything out of the linen cupboard. There were things in that cupboard that were not even linen. It was in a right foul state, and then I got bored and walked away.

For the rest of the day, the bedraggled collection of towels, pillow cases and sheets annoyed me so, and I was caught in that terrible position of creating my own monster and now having to deal with it. I watched Ellen. Nicole Kidman was on, telling everyone about how wonderful her husband was. I BET HE DEALS WITH THE LINEN CUPBOARD.

The clock was ticking and I knew that if I didn’t face that hallway before the kids got home, then it would be like the linen cupboard won. And I will be damned if I was going to let that happen. So I finished pulling everything out of it and felt completely overwhelmed. I felt like throwing myself on that heap and yelling “WHY! WHY DID I THINK THAT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?”

And then I remembered the pinterest photo…

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So off I went. Sorting shit onto different piles. Looking at the Dora the Explorer donna cover and wondering why it was still in my possession. Towels from a decade ago that had the texture of a brillo pad. Once-white pillow cases. I mean, does this shit breed or what? I mean, do I really require 17 face washers in varying degrees of deterioration?

I sorted that motherfucking pile and started folding and folding and folding, until I was left with this…

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When the menfolk all came home, I showed them that cupboard and quickly realised that no one gave a shit. Ten percent of me wants to visit that cupboard often and admire it. Ten percent of me wishes that linen was never invented and the other 80 percent of me regrets that Pinterest was also, ย never invented.

So the lesson today, my friends, is admire and yearn for qualities that are worthy. No one really lives life like a Pinterest board, well, nobody that I know anyway. I say keep Pinterest free from this type of guilt-inducing fodder and leave it for the cats.

If I looked in your linen cupboard, what would I see?

Anyone still using the old roll, shove and close the door method?

  • merliyn

    I WISH! mrs woog! … well done you!
    I have a huge linen space with no doors, … as it’s not finished yet! think modern warehouse!
    so I try to bring some kind of order into it!
    thankfully it’s in a hall way of it’s own, but I’ve got everything that doesn’t fit anywhere else in there! … why am I telling you? because you get it! … imperfection! let’s embrace it! lol m:)X

    • Lucky you having such a big space! And YES TO IMPERFECTION XX

  • JB

    Mrs Woog, the site of your linen press just made my nipples go hard.

  • Heidi D

    We live in a shoebox with very little storage space. Luckily I am married to a bit of a neat freak as there is no way we would fit anything in here unless it is folded perfectly & I just can’t be bothered. It is like a game of tetris putting things into our cupboards. The other problem is that the 2 small cupboards in our room are built in so, like the house, are very old. Their doors have fallen off so all our crap is on display ๐Ÿ™‚

  • We had a German cockroach invasion and we tackled the problem yesterday. OMG those bastards refuse to die. Meanwhile, i feel like I’m about to die from chemical poisoning. Sorry I needed to rant.

    • SmittenKitten

      That is my nightmare 0_o

    • what is a german cockroach? I am yet to see one here in Deutschland ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Pagan

    I think anyone that has a linen cupboard like the Pinterest one above probably has:
    a) no life; and
    b) no family.
    (I’m just saying that to make myself feel better. And Mrs Woog, I am flabbergasted at your bravery. There is NO WAY I would pull everything out of my linen cupboard – I did it a couple of years ago and have had to live with the mental scars ever since).

  • If you looked into my excuse for a linen cupboard, you would see chaos! It’s a weird little built in at the end of the hall facing the front door. It’s about 1.5m across, and 50cm deep (if I’m lucky…damned if I’m going to actually measure the thing!) and, get this, it has CURVED sides each side of the central door. Some weird neo-nouveau bit of fifties styling. and THEN, I have the weird chaos that my partner tends to create inside cupboards. He’s a neat freak – the house HAS to look neat and tidy, or he stresses. BUT, he just jams stuff into cupboard any old how. I know, for instance, that we have at least 6 sets of queen sized sheets, yesterday, I had to wash the only matching set I could find not on a bed in order to strip our bed and change it. there’s a set on the stepchild’s bed – which is probably breeding I don’t know what, and a clean set on the spare bed, and there was the set on our bed, and the set I found in the linen basket – where the hell are the other two sets? And, forget the matching pillowcases and quilt covers!!! And then there are the towels…he only likes giant bath sheets – which need an industrial sized cupboard to fold and stack…which we don’t have, so given the cupboard doesn’t have actual corners, due to the decorative curved shaping, so the big towels can only be stacked down the middle. Then the rest of them that don’t fit down the middle get jammed either side and start to push the neat stack out and the whole lot push the door so it never closes properly – and that’s ALL facing our front door. Lovely!

    • Donna

      We also have the narrow curved end art nouveau dark cupboard.

      Lovely example of workmanship. Not such a good example of functionality.

  • Donna

    You wouldn’t see anything because you’d have been buried in crap once you opened the door.

    We’ve band aids in many designs, linen the wrong bed size, enough toilet paper for the apocalypse, spare toiletries of brands I no longer like and towels that have long forgotten their original colour.

    I left the linen press alone during my big Xmas clean up but Easter is coming….,

  • SmittenKitten

    I love a tidy linen closet! I used to think mine was too small but after an afternoon of correct folding I now have TWO Spare shelves! If someone could buy me those lovely perspex dividers from Pinklily I would love them forever, here is the link so you too can lust after them. http://www.pinklily.com.au/p/tidy-my-shelf-twin-pack/3003

    • Those are cool!!

    • Aitch

      That’s a dangerous website! I just bought a bunch of things I didn’t even know existed but I now cannot imagine living without!

  • Yes still using the shove and close method, only because it’s been that long since mum got fed up with it and tidied it up for me. I must get her back to do a cull, that’s what’s needed. I don’t need 9 queen-sized duvet covers, especially as there isn’t even a queen sized bed in this house! Love the brillo pad reference.

  • You are one step ahead of me, because I don’t even have a linen cupboard and haven’t had one for a good… hmmm, let me see… coming up to 2 years. Ahh, the joys of renovating!**
    **it f–king sucks

  • I am embarrassed to say that my cupboard is pretty organised and that’s cos years ago when we rented the place out with all the linen, I put LABELS ( King / Queen / Double / Single / Beach Towels etc )on the shelves so the tenants could find all the sheets for the different sized beds. All the sheets are white.
    I my defence I have left all the labels since then in the rather vain hope that someone other than me might ever wash / fold or put away this stuff. Might be a long wait.

  • Lisa Mckenzie

    Good job,I do mine every so often but like you I get over it halfway through and wish I’d never started!
    My family also do not give a shit about the state of the linen cupboard either,I have done what you did and get told “that’s nice “so I may roll my eyes a LOT!

  • Wendy of The Rock

    Yep… Guilty … Roll/ Shove/ Slam
    Why change the habits of a lifetime?

  • vanessay

    We roll our towels because you can fit lots of towels in a tiny space and short people (like me) can pull them out from the bottom instead of reaching to the top of the shelf.

  • Quirky75

    I LOVE Meet Some Cats. Always makes me laugh. Roberto’s subtle highlights made me cack.
    If I can shut the door on my linen press I call it a win. They don’t hand out gold stars for tidy shelves, so bugger that shit.

  • Jealously eyeing your linen cupboard, like Sonia Styling we also have no linen cupboard. I’m afraid I quite love Pinterest it’s where I keep my fantasy house, wardrobe and life. Kind of like filling the online shopping cart and never completing the purchase…

  • Sarah-Jane

    Who cares about linen – those cats are bloody hilarious ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Virginia Maywald

    I went a step further and did a complete white out of all linen. Gave away the purples, the racing car prints and all the greens of the 90s (homeless cat shelters don’t care about colour…although Mr Instagam Cat probably would). Fluffy white towels, pure white cotton sheets….and now no one knows the difference between the kings, the singles and the queens, so the whole lot just gets jammed in and we’re all loathe to change the sheets, let alone put them away!

    • Jacqui Coughlan

      grab a laundry marker and initial the sheets on their tag

      • Virginia Maywald

        Good idea…thinking about getting one of those labeling gizmo’s for the shelves as well.

  • Keeshabelle

    Back in my teenage years I remember being told that if you want to feel crap about yourself read a Cosmo…..scoot forward 20 years and the wonder of Pinterest has expounded this by 100%! I have a love hate relationship with Pinterest….love to drool over that amazing house, photos of babies, holiday destinations, food glorious food, and yet I come away with a deep sense of not being enough, hence I now only use it for a search engine when I am looking for an recipe, and workout, or a sewing pattern. I am an enough regardless, and so are you Mrs Woog, tidy linen cupboard or not!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • I’m so bad I can’t even keep my one Pinterest board in order. I just don’t get it. I wish I did. I need a tutorial. It would help if I could remember my log in.Your linen cupboard looks impeccable and even if the boys didn’t enjoy it I do. It looks very calm and serene. My daughter did that to mine a couple of years ago when she was bored. I wish she’d do it again cos I ain’t going there.

  • This post made me laugh. We can get caught up on Pinterest can’t we? Well i can at times. Your linen cupboard is so Pinterest worthy. I now want to do my linen cupboard.

  • Shove… close… RUN… don’t look back!

  • My beloved last sorted our linen. He did a great job, except for the fitted sheets. He rolls them in a giant ball, shoves them in and quickly closes the cupboard doors. I need to get my pinterest loving Woogie on. Well done you!

  • i watched people at the laundromat yesterday using the mangle to iron their sheets and towels I don’t even know how to describe it, I can’t see one without thinking of a Stephen King short story set in a laundromat but they are the business in Deutsch laundromats…. I’m more of a roll and shove kind of person to be honest.

  • Dani

    I’m a bit OCD so my cupboards and drawers are usually pretty neat (unless my husband has been near it lol). The rest of my house however…….