How to buy cushions.

Screen Shot 2015-06-26 at 8.34.46 am

My friend Faux Fuchsia never knowingly under-cushions. She is fairly famous for her love of them and is a big advocate of more is more, when it comes to soft furnishings. She lives in Brissy, so she was not available to help me cushion shop yesterday, so the task was left to Mrs. Goodman who is knowledgable with all things interiors.

Have cushions always been so prevalent in our lives, or is it a new thing? I am not sure, but now there is talk of “stories” and “themes” and “moods” and quite frankly, the whole thing is baffling to me. And do not even start me on the cost of some of them! Sweet baby cheesus… $180 for a cushion? Is it filled with the down of the gosling that was hatched from the duck who laid the golden egg?

So off to Birkenhead Outlet Shopping Centre we went yesterday, so I could learn just how to buy cushions (albeit at a bargain price.)

Better back pedal for a minute and tell you why I needed a cushion “story” in my life. A while ago I noticed that a couch that I had admired at a mates house was on sale. For half price. I am drawn to a bargain and before you knew it, I had ordered one. In white. Yes, I am well aware that I am bonkers. Black cat, three men in the house and a white couch. Don’t say anything. I have heard it all before.

Mrs. Goodman asked me to choose, from the range of cushions at Adairs, a cushion that spoke to me.

But they were all SCREAMING at me!

Eventually I settled on the orange and navy one pictured at the front up there. And from that choice, a “story” grew, as she added more cushions, stood back, took a few away, stood back, added one etc. This went on for a while. I was like a manchester apprentice in the presence of greatness as the pile changed and grew in front of my eyes. Eventually she threw a throw rug over the top and announced that she was finished. I thanked her for her trouble, and she went on to help Mrs. Jenkins, the third member of out team, so select some other stuff. I do not know what because I was too busy hauling cushions to the cash register.

The lady at the register admired my selections. We spoke about the benefits (and obvious drawbacks) of white couch ownership. I showed her mine on my phone and she agreed that the “story” I was trying to tell would work well.

And it did.

Screen Shot 2015-06-26 at 8.57.26 am

I know right now, if I listen really hard, I will be able to hear the collective rolling of eyes from thousands of you. But before you judge, before you spit out comments like “Oh for fuck sake Mrs. Woog. I can’t believe I just wasted 60 seconds of my life reading this mundane rubbish…” hear me out.

As a country, we spend 1.7 Billion dollars a year on manchester. Brokers Goldman Sachs estimates the Adairs could be valued at between $336 million to $407 million. So this indicates to me that there is perhaps a large percentage of you who would be interested in this topic, about how to buy cushions. And so I dedicate this blog post, to you.

What are your thoughts on cushioning?

Into them, or do not give a crap?

Ever shopped at Adairs? Bed Bath and Crap?