Is this stealing? Tales of a Council Cleanup.

It’s that time of the year again folks! Council clean up time. A time where (most) people adhere to the rules, call the council and book a general rubbish collection.

You can tell when it is about to happen, as random items are left out the front of dwellings. Items such as dead computers, televisions as big as a small sedan, unwanted pieces of plywood, dead chairs, faded sofas, metal drawers, many things from Ikea, 5o thousand times farted on doonas, decrepit coffee tables with only 3 legs, manky rugs, unloved kitchen gadgets bought from infomercials late at night after you have come home from a boozy dinner, broken lamps, dreadful art, old desks and of course, no council cleanup is complete without at least one sighting of one of these…

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Ye Olde Plastic Clam Shell. You buy this when the kids are small, fill one side with sand and the other side with water and you pray to the lord that they will be amused by it for at least 7 minutes. After a few weeks, you keep forgetting to put the cover on when not in use and it attracts felines from across the neighbourhood who use it as a communal toilet until things get so dire, that it is no longer a viable play option.

So you empty the whole thing out in the corner of the garden, and rest it up against the garage for a few years. It becomes faded and cracked, totally useless. And it is at this point that it becomes a part of your collection of crap, waiting to be collected by the garbage man.

The upside to Council Clean Ups is, depending where you live, you can unearth a treasure chest of excellent items. Such as Parker sideboards and awesome retro ceramics. I once even scored to huge blue and white china urns! My friend Kate is an absolute genius when it comes to the curbside crawl. I will go over to her place and be all like “Holy crap! Where did you get those chairs!!” and she will be all like “Side of the road…”

Bitch be smug. And rightly so.

So I suppose I had better get to the dilemma.

We had a very large, round floor pillow that the kids lay on to watch tv. One night this week, someone shut the laundry door, cutting off access to Chuy’s bathroom facilities.

That is all I am going to say about that. You can draw your own conclusions as to the filth that I was greeted to the next morning. There was no salvaging the situation, although I must admit I put in a very unenthusiastic effort.

So I put the huge cushion (seriously… it was about as big as that clam shell up there) out near the bins, in the backyard.

Mr. Woog, under the cover of darkness and without my knowledge, took that cushion and drove the streets until he found a large collection of general waste out the front of a random house, and slid said cushion under some random crap.

So is that kind of like stealing?

What do you always see out for council cleanup? Treadmills?

Ever scored yourself a treasure?