A lesson about friendships.

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One of the most surprising (and best) things to come out of this blogging caper is the friendships that you make. I count some of my ‘mommy blogger” mates as some of my closest allies on this planet.

I have a group of chicks that I met through Twitter who meet up every few weeks for lunch, and over dumplings we can change the world, or our world at least. We have (although I hate labels) a single mum, a widow, a working mum, an ex-alcoholic super-mum, a fabulous lefty swearing part-time working mum and me. And there is nothing off-limits, absolutely no judgment and you could drop the biggest bombshell to this lot, and nay an eyebrow would be raised.

Friendships grow and change as you age. I recall my super best friend from uni. For 3 years we studied together, lived together, played together and could not survive without each other. She was hilarious, and we were inseparable. I graduated before she did, as she wanted to complete a fourth year, and I didn’t think anything would change.

But then BOOM! The friendship rug was pulled out from under me. I got dumped. And it stung. I was not sure why, (but later I would find out – keep reading.)

My other uni friends are still to this day, the sisters I chose. They know all the secrets, big and small. They are the ones who will call me out of the blue because they had a feeling I needed to chat. We finish each others sentences, and text random photos that nobody else would understand why it is so ironic, or hilarious. History is ingrained in these friendships. Marriages, divorces, births, deaths. It is all there folks.

And then occasionally someone will pop into your life and you just wonder where the hell they have been all these years.

This happened to me a few weeks ago.

A reader emailed me and said that she thought we might live near each other, and would I like to meet her for a coffee.

I freaked out and didn’t respond because life got in the way.

After a week or so, she contacted me again and apologised if she sounded like a crazy stalker. There was something about her words, so we set a date.

The day came and Mrs. Goodman popped around in the morning to find me getting ready to go out. On my blind date. She asked me whether I felt strange and I admitted that I did.

When I got to the cafe (remember, I had no idea who I was meeting) I smiled at single women like one might if they were fresh of the RSVP site. A lady smiled back with the broadest grin, and I knew I had found my gal.

Two hours later we had discussed all the big issues. We went in deep. I told her shit I probably should not have ever disclosed to a stranger, but there is just something so wonderful about a warm, wise spirited soul and hey, I am a sharer! That’s what we bloggers do.

We spoke a lot about the sisterhood and friendships. I sucked up her wisdom as she told me about the poem, Are You A Reason, Season, or a Lifetime?

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty; to provide you with guidance and support; to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Author Unknown

MIND BLOWN! The conversation and discussion were a bit of a game changer when it came to mates, past and present. I got dumped because my friend was only suppose to be there for a reason! To get me though uni. We didn’t need each other after that.

You might be reading along nodding. You might totally get it. Or you might be reading along thinking “GET OFF THE BINTANGS, MEDITATION AND MINDFULNESS SESSIONS OVER THERE IN BALI…”

Either way, I hope you can use some part of this post to take a look at some of your friendships, past and present, and work out who is there for a good time, a bad time, or for a long time. Namaste.

Have you ever been friendship dumped?

Have you got a good support crew?