Dating for Dickheads.

Screen Shot 2015-08-24 at 11.31.21 am

Is anyone else watching on, with a disturbing fascination, at the hand grenade that is the Ashley Madison Scandal?

If you have been living under a rock for the past week, Ashley Madison is an organisation that encourages people to have affairs on their spouses. Kind of like RSVP for philanderers. And what has been really interesting was the outing of two high-profile, American, Anti Gay Marriage, God-fearing, fundamental christians, after the website was hacked and 40 million subscribers were revealed.

It’s ok. Their wives have forgiven them. One even said she was to blame. And most importantly GOD has forgiven them. What an understanding fella he is.

Infidelity is the second highest reason that couple’s divorce. Another argument is that perhaps our longevity is to blame. Back in the day we used to fall of our perches by the time we had hit our 40’s, so is it normal that it is at this age that we see our friends marriages implode?

And sometimes, I just think too much.

I too, have also signed up for stupid things. Like a certain weight-loss companies program. For some reason, I thought if I paid my dues and signed up, the weight would just fall off me. Instead it was just an expensive way for me to learn the following phrase:

MOVE MORE AND EAT LESS (you shmuck).

But you would have to be several gluten-free sandwiches short of a vegan picnic to sign up to have an affair. You pathetic sod.

Our marriage has two rules.

1. If you leave, you take the kids.

2. If you are inclined to stray, do the decent thing and have the uncomfortable discussion first. Blind-siding is not an option. Tres disrespectful.

No one’s marriage is perfect. Some days are fucking hard.

You never know what is going to happen in the future. I have had too many discussions with friends that started with “You think you know someone hey…” I have seen families get shredded because of infidelity.

JUST KEEP IT IN YOUR FUCKING PANTS DUDE!

Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.

And so I will end with that old chestnut.

Could you forgive your partner if they cheated?

Or are you more like, once a cheater, always a cheater?

I will get down from my pulpit now. Jeez it needs a thorough dusting!