How are we even still alive?

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Monkey bars? When did you get so fancy?

One in 5 childhood fractures in Australia, are attributed to Monkey Bars. And this week a certain Woogette became yet another statistic. The main reason for such a high rate of incidents is when a child attempts to skip a rung. Another main culprit was when a child falls after standing, balancing precariously, on the top.

But monkey bars run third behind bike accidents and the good old trampoline.

In our house, accidents and injuries always occur when Mr. Woog is away. Like the time Horatio came off the merry-go-round, jack-knifing head first into a nearby boulder. Or the time that he got Gastro so badly on the day I discovered I was accidentally pregnant with his brother. We were both in hospital, him as an admitted patient, while we both threw up for Jesus for days on end. Of course this week, he is not here.

But back to the monkey bars. Initially known as a Jungle Gym, they were invented in 1920 by Chicago lawyer Sebastian Hinton, whose own father had made him a similar apparatus when he was a boy, from bamboo. It was the traditional set of monkey bars that are still prevalent and breaking the limbs of our children to this very day. Although nowadays, you can see fine examples of more intricate designs in playgrounds the country over.

The modern-day monkey bars are often surrounded with the suggested 30cm of impact absorbing materials, such as rubber or wood chip.

So here is the thing to ponder today.

How the fuck is our generation even alive?

We swung wildly from the monkey bars, with nothing but concrete underneath. We rode speedily about the streets before the STACK HAT became mandatory. We swam in festering creeks without any adult supervision. We got mumps. We got bitten by stray dogs who were always wandering the streets, producing litters of puppies at will. We ate gluten before the word was even invented. We ate peanut butter sandwiches in the company of other children. We bathed scrapes and cuts in Mercurochrome, not knowing that it was slowly poisoning up with high levels of mercury,

We drank cows milk.

How the devil do we, as an age bracket, even live to tell the tale?

Have Monkey Bars caused havoc in your family?

Got a childhood injury worthy of sharing?