A badly written blog post about Veganism*

When I was in Year 8, the school bully struck. I was sitting in the boarding school’s recreation room watching Smash Hits when unbeknownst to me, she snuck up behind me and deposited a liberal amount of peroxide foam on the crown of my head. Bros, or some infatuation of mine at the time much have been on, as I had no idea that this was happening to me.

The next day I woke with a bright white spot of hair in the middle of my head. My hair was, and still is, a deep shade of brown.

It was an attack that I had to live with for ages, as it grew over the months starting from a small donut into a slowly grown halo.

I would very much like to name this girl now, but I think I am still a little frightened of her. And the rumour while we were at school, was her family had very strong connections to the Mafia.

But that is not what todays blog post is about. I just thought of it now. But it does have something to do with hair and potions.

Today I want to discuss vegans. What a natural segue that was. You see this week I read an article about a vegan family who refused to kill their nits. I told Horatio about this and he replied with his usual “TIDIF!” which is cool speak for TOOK IT TOO FAR. Now I get and respect veganism*, and most of the isms out there (apart from racism, sexism and communism), but if I lived next door to this family, there would be no way that my kids would be playing with these kids unless they were protected by a tight fitted swimming cap.

*scratches head*

Just give me a minute while I work out how to now blend the next part of this story in….

Oh fuck it. There is no clever way to do it. But it does discuss veganism* so please, bear with me.

On Monday it was sunny, and the Woogettes were off to tennis for the day which meant me going into high-speed nagging about sunscreen. I have a drawer dedicated to such lotions and potions and when I look at my skin now, I wish my Mum had been onto it as well when I was a wee lass. They both promised me that they had applied sunscreen as they waltzed out the door.

Six hours later they arrived home and I was horrified to discover a huge brown rash on Jack’s neck.

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Was this some sort of tropical virus he had picked up?

Many questions were asked and eventually I told him to get me the sunscreen that he had used.

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He told me that he had chosen this as it was Vegan Friendly and he thought that sounded very nice. And I suppose it is, BUT A SUNSCREEN IT IS NOT.

Sometimes, when you are a blogger, you get sent stuff to try in the hope that you will write about it. So props to you Ivadore. The ingredients of this lotion reads like a tropical fruit salad, and indeed spreads a lovely warm glow when applied.

A few days on and I will give you the hot tip! This stuff is a stayer. Brown neck has gradually faded to beige neck and hopefully by next week, he will be back to normal neck.

So I will leave you with this, which I came up with in my non vegan brain.

Sometimes we like to label people and sometimes it is just better to read the label.

*Vegansim is not even a real word.