Problem Solving – How to get fitted for a bra.

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I thought today we shall start with an excerpt from my new book, As Yet Untitled, due out sometime soon.

The bra shop in town was located in a mall that was well frequented with people that we knew. It had the butchers, the greengrocer and the bakery, and on a Saturday morning it was pumping with people doing their shopping.

Mum would stop and chat with her friends as they did their shopping.

“We are off to get her first bra!” She would announce, and the response was one of admiration and mature respect. Meanwhile, I wanted to run across the car park and disappear down a drain. After we made sure the entire town knew that I had boobs on the move, we darkened the doorstep of the Blue Bayou Boutique where the true nightmare was only just beginning to unfold.

“Christine!” Cried out the sales lady. “How can I help you today?”

Mum explained that I needed my first bra, and they both practically shat themselves with excitement at the prospect. The saleslady, whom we shall from now on refer to her as Delvine because she was a Delvine if ever I saw one, was massive.

I was fairly certain that she was made of 100% boob, for her bosom was ample and heaving. The only beacon of light in this awful, dreadful situation was that Delvine was obviously a woman who knew a lot about boobs.

“Come on then.” Delvine barked at me, “Show me a look.”

ALL OF THE SHUDDERS!

This blog post came about as a result of me writing about the death of my favourite bra. The very bra that caused terror at Umina Beach several years before.

I was contacted by a lass called Cassie, who explained that she was a bra fitting expert, and would I like her to come to my house and sort out my boobs?

“Sure!” I thought… “Why not let a stranger from the Internet who I don’t know from that bucket over there, into my house and look at my boobs. Sounds perfectly legit.”

I asked if I could invite a couple of mates over who were in need of new bras and she said that that was fine.

A few mornings later, the doorbell rang. I opened it to find a women positively BEAMING with positivity about boobs and getting them into the correct size. Cassie was everything I had hoped for. Very friendly and easy-going. Very laughy. (it is a word). She owned a pair of large boobs as well, which made me just know I was going to be advised by someone who knew some shit about big boobs. Then Mrs. Goodman turned up. And then Mrs. Jenkins. And then everyone was discretely measured. There was no need to get our boobs out at all, unless you felt like sharing.

45 minutes later, we all discovered we were wearing the completely wrong size, in some instances, by several letters of the alphabet. She also sorted us into the ultimate sports bra, so no more black eyes during huffy puffy.

Since then, I have been telling pretty much anyone whose path I have crossed, about my experience with the Intimo Consultant Cassandra. Mainly I am told… “Oh they are the best. I have been a customer for years…” which means, once again I am the last to know.

If you live in Sydney and surrounds, and need proper bra fittings, I can 100% recommend a visit from Cassie.  Call her on 0414 648 018 or drop her a line at [email protected]

This is by no way a sponsored post. Just good stuff that needs to be shared.

Are you wearing the right size bra?

Was your first bra fitting as humiliating as mine?