I like your old stuff better than your new stuff.

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I was at my oldies place the other weekend for some Mumma loving. I am not sure about you, but sometimes you just need your Mum to cook you dinner, split a bottle of wine with and to sleep in your childhood bedroom. Call me sentimental, I don’t mind. I am lucky that I can still do this.

While we were visiting, Mum and Jack decided to make meringues, which is one of my least favourite things to eat because give me savoury over sweet any day of the week. This of course excludes any form of Maggie Beer ice cream of course. That shit be whack!

They were measuring out quantities of this and that when I wandered into the kitchen, where I damn near lost my shit when I saw the goings on.

“Have you chucked out the mushroom measuring cup?” I lamented.

Mum assured me that she would never do such a thing.

They were not using the mushroom measuring cup. They were using some sort of shiny, fancy new device that looked like it had never seen a cup of plain flour in its life. I hated it immediately.

See that mushroom measuring cup up there? That is a symbol of my own childhood. It reminds me of time spent in the kitchen with my Mum as a child, measuring out oats and other stuff that you needed to make Anzac biscuits and chocolate slice. The bottom was lost along the way. You have to really squint hard to see the things that you could measure on the side. Stuff like sultanas, rice, milk, flour, sugar and coconut. Food. Real food that was combined with other real food to make another real food.

Mum knows that if she got rid of the mushroom measuring cup that there would be a family mutiny on her hands.

There is another thing in her kitchen that she wouldn’t dare get rid of. It is an original milkshake maker leftover from a shop they owned back in the early 70’s. It in a slim cupboard right next to the dishwasher. To get it out, you need to bend your knees and not lift with your back. It will only work if you use the beaten and battered tin vessel that originally came with it. I can, and my hand is truly on my heart here, tell you that it makes the worlds best milkshakes. Sure, it sounds like an airplane is about to take off, but the results are worth it.

I married a sentimental old fool as well. Mr. Woog treasures two things above all others. One is a framed tapestry of some monkeys. He grew up visiting his Nagymama where it used to hang proudly on her wall. After she died, he snaffled it up. It now hangs in his man cave because, well…. tapestry monkey.


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Nagy. Original owner of the Tapestry Monkey.

The other is a, lord this is going to be hard to describe.

Give me a minute.

Well it is an old wooden man that was attached to his grandparents toilet wall. In his hands is a yellowed paper roll. It was made with the intentions that you could write your thoughts on the paper roll while you took a dump.

Isn’t it wonderful that these simple items can immediately transport us back to a simpler time? I wonder what my kids will treasure. I am thinking anything with leopard print, or sequins. It will take them back to a time where their Mum was disco dancing in the kitchen. And that is a legacy I am happy to leave.

Is there something completely bizarre that you remember being totally special from your childhood?

Did you mum keep her sewing stuff in a red tartan biscuit tin as well?