2015 Woogsters

You want to know something? I am feeling very un-awarded. In the past week I have sat through many award ceremonies. I have sung the National Anthem twice. I have watched my kids get up on stage and shake important people’s hands.

So I am taking it upon myself to initiate my own award ceremony. So having said that, Welcome to the 2015 Woogsters,

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Best Performing White Good

Fisher & Paykel 8 kilogram top loader. You have won this award for consistently doing what you were purchased to do, without fuss, noise or break-downs.

Most Eaten Food – Everyday Category

BBQ Shapes. If you eat 6 little packets in one day, you are still eating less that a full-sized box.

Most Eaten Food – Special Occasion

Maggie Beer Burnt Fig Ice Cream. This year the PR people for Mrs. Beer got in contact with me. They wanted to send me a voucher for ten bucks to go and buy said ice cream and write a blog post on how good it is. I am all like DERRRRR! I write about it all the time for FREE!

Most Troublesome Technology

Um, that would be the thing that I am looking at right now! Big Bertha, behave better in 2016, or you will find yourself out on the curb come next council cleanup day.

Largest Bill

That would be from Hot Dr. Nick, veterinarian to the street fighters. But I do not mind one little bit. Because furry love.

Top 5 Drinks of 2015

  1. Santa Vittoria Sparkling Water
  2. Diet Coke
  3. Villa Maria Sav B
  4. Coffee
  5. Bintang

Encouragement Award

To my Huffy Puffy Trainer for the Reluctant, who shows up, pulls me out of bed, dodges swear words like a ninja and who never, ever gives up, even when I do. She has actually pushed me up a hill this year. NO SHIT!

The International Award for Irrelevance

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Most revolting thing I bought and never wore because I looked like a complete fucking clown and who wants them?

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What the fuck was I thinking? Yes, let us highlight just how big my thighs are, by adding sequins.

Most tired person award.

Anyone who has had a baby this year. Big massive cheers to you xxxxx

Fattist of the Year!

It is a tie.

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Most disorganised person of the year but that is going to change next year! Also, best use of skis as decor….

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Also runner-up for most tired person of the year.

In conclusion, it has been a good year, a long year, a year full of many highs and a few lows. Please stand for our national anthem.

Did I miss any obvious awards?

Tool of the Year? Legend of the Year?

Please share yours.