Beach holiday smells a bit rank.

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Two families were left disappointed when their long anticipated beach holiday was cut short due to a series of blunders. At a time when the whole of Australia seems to be enjoying optimum swimming conditions, this group have taken their ball and bat, and have headed home.

Mrs Woog, 42, noticed a problem as they arrived.

“There was kind of smell in the air. Couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but I noticed that the ground was very damp and soggy along the fence line. I had a quick look around the property, and texted my sister immediately to tell her to lower her expectations to a fraction above zero.”

The south coast property had a beach front position which was reflected in the weekly tariff, but the view was the only thing that could be admired. From a broken television, a slight electrocution, one bathroom with no windows and bunks that were dodgy, the group persisted and put on a brave face. But then one of the party fell through the rotten back deck before noticing the smashed asbestos eaves which were just above the window off the main bedroom.

“This is fucked.” from Mrs Ryan, who refused to reveal her age.

With overcrowding also being quite an issue as the week wore on, it wasn’t until a sewerage issue meant that the water was not fit for bathing in, drinking, or washing up in (by hand no dishy). And the smell that accompanied it was (allegedly) offensive.

“Smells like shit.” Mrs Woog revealed.

On Wednesday 30th December, an executive decision was made to abandon plans and return to regular duties.

Again, Mrs. Woog. “Look. I ain’t no diva. I actually can drop to some pretty low standards. I mean, I have not washed my hair since 2 days before Christmas for Christ’s Sake. But I refuse to breathe poo particles up my nose for another moment!”

The Real Estate agent was contacted for comment.

Shit happens.