Dog Park Politics

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Having been given the all clear from Dr. Nick, Isobel and I headed up to the local institution that is THE DOG PARK yesterday. It took me straight back to the time I was the new mum at a new school, which basically involved being stared at and ignored. I mean how can you even ignore that little face?

Dog park politics is alive and thriving it would seem. We entered the enclosed romper room during Golden Retriever Hour, named after the fact that nearly every single dog there was one. And they were beautiful, all bounding up to say hello and sniff Isobel in the ass area. She was completely beside herself with the state of affairs, and rolled onto her back in the submissive position. She wanted to be accepted by the pack, much like myself.

But I hung on the outskirts of the gang. Like a new kid at school. An elderly gentleman with an Australian Terrier came over and said hello. We had a lovely chat and his dog Lizzy, named after the fact that he and his wife were big fans of Pride and Prejudice, wrestled with Izzy at our feet.

I moved closer to the group of dog owners, hoping that someone would issue us an invitation to stand with them, but I was left to my own devices. YOU CAN”T SIT WITH US!

Was this because I had a dog who looked like a mop? Were my own insecurities about dog ownership holding me back? Was I daft to assume that my canine companion was not deemed suitable enough? WAS I WEARING THE WRONG SHOES GODDAMIT? Why, oh why, didn’t I choose to get a golden retriever…..

A nice lady wandered over with her black labrador and we got a talking…

“It took me about eighteen months to fit into this crowd….” she told me.

What the actual? I don’t have that sort of time commitment…

“Mothers group for dogs?” I asked her. I loathed mother’s group. The only mum I got on with was a single mum who had interesting stories so we started a breakaway group, just her and me, while the rest of the mums sat around and talked about how fabulous everything was. Fucking liars.

But I will persist with the dog park because I really like the dogs. And my two new friends. And being bowled over by huge, honey coloured mutts.

And to anyone starting at a new school this week, whether ye be a child or a mamma, it might take a little time, but you will eventually find your tribe. And it will be so worth it.

When is the last time you felt like a shag on a rock?