Why did you call your kid what you did?

When I was twelve, my Mum had another baby. Another girl. I remember she was born on Easter Sunday and we were all fucked off that there were no eggs in the garden.

Anyway, the oldies gave us free rein on what this new baby girl should be called. At the time, we were all heavily invested in the series Sweet Valley High.

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And that is how she got her name, Jessica Amy. Of course this idea could have been fraught with danger had we been reading the (at the time unpublished) Harry Potter series, as she could have quite easily ended up with the moniker Voldemort Yaxley.

I bring this up because a recent visitor asked my how Chuy got his name and I told her without hesitation…

“I named him Chuy after Chelsea Handlers Mexican Personal Assistant.”

She looked at me as if I was cerebrally challenged, so I told her it was a long story and we left it at that.

Now Isobel was named by Jack, who initially wanted to call her Princess Barbie Fairytopia, but I didn’t fancy me standing in the middle of a dog park calling out that name. So he called her after an old neighbour we had many moons ago.

Harry was named after a kindy kid who I taught a billion years ago. He was adorable and feisty and smart.

Jack was lucky to get his name. As soon as he came through the sunroof and his sex was determined, Mr. Woog said “Jack or James?”

“Jack…” I said before yelling out “James!” But it was too late. Little Jack had already left the room and into the waiting arms of our extended family. I took it as a sign.

I recently saw a clip of Katie Hopkins who said the following on morning television.

“I do judge children by their names … For me, a name is a shortcut of finding out what class that child comes from.”

“I tend to think that children who have intelligent names tend to have fairly intelligent parents and they make much better playdates for my children.”

“It lets me make very quick decisions about whether these are the sort of children I want my children playing with.”

Katie Hopkins is a moron. I very rarely call someone that and mainly because she abhors people who call their kids after places or things. Ironically her daughters are named India and Poppy. Both lovely names.

How did you come up with your kids names?

Are they called after someone?

Anyone have a Lequisha here? My kids can play with yours…..